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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
   
Location: United Kingdom | I may well be that the two are connected somehow, dear Paul.
With love - Aquarius
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Today I have something for you that is not funny, just interesting.
To watch one of the most delightful videos
that ever came my way,
please follow the link below:
‘Cat And Dolphin At Play’
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Expert
Posts: 2118
Location: The Heart of Space | Ruppert's Law of Time Expansion:
1) Anything that you are told will take five minutes will take at least an hour.
2) "Half a mo..." usually encompasses a whole mo and then some......
3) If you are asked "have you got a minute" be prepared to spend at least 30 minutes or more.
4) "Just a second" will invoke the minute hand of the clock to turn faster
Time is a very strange thing indeed!
Peace and tick tocks,
Marty |
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Isn't it just, dear Marty? With love - Aquarius * * *
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Expert
Posts: 2118
Location: The Heart of Space | And also my dear Akwarious...........
Ruppert"s Laws of Time and Motion:
1) If you arrive at the bus stop or train station 10 minutes early, the bus or train will be at least 15 minutes late.
2) If you arrive at the bus stop or train station 1 minute late, the bus or train will have been at least 5 minutes early.
Ruppert's Factor of Bodies in Motion:
1) The bus or train that is at least 15 minutes late will not stop for one who has been at the designated point of boarding at the designated time.
2) The bus or train will never wait for the appointed time to enter and leave the designated point of boarding but will stop and go based on the principle of locomotive free will.
This is a complex science that few of us understand!!
P.S. Bizarre Phenomena:
1) At least one person in the cash only line will try to pay with a credit/debit card
2) At least two people in the credit/debit line will have his or her card declined.
Why is that?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Prophetically Yours,
Marty |
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PhD Alumni
Posts: 4414
Location: United Kingdom | Dear Marty
Wot, no LuckyLee?! .....
Hopefully not yet passed the land of the feline Valhalla?
Paul (hope this link uploads..)
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/mother-cat-breaks-into-vet-cl...
Edited by Paul Joseph 10/24/2015 5:38 AM
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Good Question, Paul. Where, oh where can she be? With love - Aquarius
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Expert
Posts: 2118
Location: The Heart of Space | Hello Paul, Aqua, et al:
Her failing body was an increasing burden to her. She must have suffered a third stroke sometime Tuesday afternoon, October 13th that left her immobile and virtually non responsive. She freed herself of her useless body at 7:30 that evening.
My companion of 31 years..............
Peace,
Marty |
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Hello Marty, So sorry to hear that. But it was an incredible age for a cat and you were truly blessed to have her with you for such a long time. The Rainbow Bridge
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
In a lush green meadow where time stands still,
Where people’s friends freely do run,
When their time on the Earth plane’s over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where all God’s beloved creatures find rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more they suffer from pain and sadness,
Here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness,
Limbs are restored and health renewed.
Bodies healed and with new strength imbued,
They romp through the grass, without having a care.
But then, one fine day, they stop and sniff the air.
With ears pricked forward, one of them looks back
And suddenly breaks away from the pack.
For just at that instant the eyes have met,
Re-united once more, of human being and pet.
They run to each other to renew their friendship of the past.
The time of their parting is over at last and
The sadness they felt while being apart
Now turns into the purest of joy in their loving heart.
They embrace with an affection that will last forever
And then, side-by-side, they cross over
Into the world of light – together.
Steve and Diane Bodofsky
Edited by Aquarius With love - Aquarius * * *
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PhD Alumni
Posts: 4414
Location: United Kingdom | Condolences Marty, so sorry for your inconceivable loss
Nice poem Aquarius
Warmth, love and hugs
Paul |
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PhD Alumni
Posts: 4414
Location: United Kingdom | Marty -
Took me all day, but knocked up this little number, for you and Lucky Lee:
Goodbye to a Loved One
Look you tread softly upon the Rainbow Bridge
If too hard a footfall, you will step right through the light into the dark
Only the gentle are true Valhalla bound
Slip silent past the Praetorian Guard
Miss the alarmed sentry by a whisker
Whispering the password, your purred word
Spare your penny for the Ferryman’s daughter -
You are more beautiful by far - then once upon the Farthest Shore
Go quick, no looking back – not even for me
May see you on the Other Side
Your friend
Paul
Edited by Paul Joseph 10/26/2015 4:36 PM
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Expert
Posts: 2118
Location: The Heart of Space | Paul, Aqua.......
You all are wonderful friends to have, particularly at such times as these past weeks.
Love yas,
Marty
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Dear Marty, Our loving thoughts are always with you and especially so at this time of saying goodbye and departures from the Earth plane, of that you can be sure. With love - Aquarius * * *
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | |
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | It’s Halloween! It’s Halloween!
The moon is full and bright
And we shall see what can’t be seen
On any other night.
Skeletons and ghosts and ghouls,
Grinning goblins fighting duels,
Werewolves rising from their tombs,
Witches on their magic brooms.
In masks and gowns
We haunt the street
And knock on doors
For trick or treat.
Tonight we are
The king and queen,
For oh tonight
It’s Halloween!
Jack Prelutsky
Please click the link below and take a look at your
‘Halloween Card’
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | The Joy And Wonder Of Translations
In a Bangkok temple :
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a city restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS,
ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM,
IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
And finally the all time classic:
Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Spy Camera Visits Polar Bears
Please follow the link below:
‘Spy On The Ice’
Enjoy!
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | A man walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He looks the bartender straight in the eye and says: ‘Give me six double Martinis’. Although he is more than somewhat aghast, the man behind the bar obliges. He prepares the drinks and sets them down in a row in front of the visitor, who instantly starts guzzling them down, one after the other, without blinking.
The kind bartender, who has the good of his customers at heart, says to the man: ‘Listen mister – you’re gonna do yourself some harm drinking like that!’ Smiling sadly, the man replies: ‘Ah well, if you had what I have, you’d be glugging them down like that too.’
Very concerned now, the bartender wants to know: ‘Why? What have you got?’
After a moment’s hesitation, the man replies: ‘63 cents.’
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Expert
Posts: 2118
Location: The Heart of Space | Hi all:
In the apartment building that I have dwelled in for quite a while, I have a reputation for receiving "strange" mail. I get things in many different languages; magazines from all over the world; and contradictory subject matter. One Tuesday passed, though, caused quite a stir. The US Postal Service left a box at my door that had prominent stickers that said "USPS CREMATED REMAINS". Because I was juggling messenger bag, take away food, umbrella, mail, newspaper and keys, I kicked the box in and didn't notice the stickers until much later.
Here is the story.....my sister felt uncomfortable with my Mom's remains so she sent them to me.....using a service of the US Postal Service that would have required me to go to the local post office and sign to pick up the parcel. Our super efficient postal delivery person, however, chose to deliver the parcel at the time she normally delivers regular mail, which means that my Mom sat outside my door from 11:00 am until 5:00 pm - when I hastily kicked her inside.
That means that neighbors in other apartments or flats as the Brit people call them-and even bumpies, which is a flat that has several floors or uneven single floors-all saw "USPS CREMATED REMAINS" sitting at my door.
Anyway, Mom is sitting on the couch (or settee as the Brits say)......and, of course, I do what any sane (???????????????????) person would do.....I talk to a wooden chest!
Don't fear for my sanity folks, fear for my insanity. I shall have to find another cat or two to keep me in some semblance of reality!
Peace and Love to All,
Marty and ? cat-----oh yeah----and Mom!
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Games
Here is a video for you about a dog who is determined to get a stone-hearted man to throw his stick.
The dog loves playing the game of fetch and can’t understand why the man will not join in the fun.
Discover why by following the link below:
‘The Spoil Sport’
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | What Did Noah Say To His Wife? ‘The Woodpecker will have to go!’  * * * |
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PhD Alumni
Posts: 1882
Location: NE Ohio | Good luck trying to breed those lions. LOL and yes.... the wood pecker needs to go! HA HA |
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PhD Alumni
Posts: 4414
Location: United Kingdom | Oh No no no - the holes are good, they let out the water from the rain .... |
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PhD Alumni
Posts: 4414
Location: United Kingdom | Hi Marty
Sorry been unwell so only just now got round to reading your post: tragi-comic? Not sure what to say ...
How strange the journey your mama's remainds have undergone .... an after-life journey indeed
My mother keeps my dad's ashes in her bedroom, along with all the ashes of the cats and dogs that she has had over the years .... she said to me once, when she dies, she wants me to take all the ashes of hers and those others, load them into a car, and drive it into the sea .... she did not say whether I should get out of the car before it sank or the tide came in ...
Your friend from nearby Wembley Stadium
Paul 
Edited by Paul Joseph 11/17/2015 10:29 AM
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UMS Guest
Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom | Re: The Woodpecker Good thinking, dear Paul.
With love - Aquarius * * *
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Don't Take It All Too Seriously!
