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|Greetings. I feel the need to have issues addressed here, and my issues need a non biased response. In a forum of this nature, why is blatant disrespect of members acceptable...from other members? My assumption of course is that it is accepted because it is obviously being tolerated. Why is it then being tolerated ? I recall distantly a particular member being asked to leave because turmoil was created by her inflammatory and flat out rude comments. That was nothing compared to this utter nonsense. |
To consistently in his posts attempt to show his superiority, to exhibit a real lack of tolerance for anyone who has ever walked a mile in a pair of shoes besides his..to bully those that he has not taken the time to get to know, referring to the word dignity when people get in touch with their playful natures and then to lamely attempt to soften his blow by signing claims of peace and love accompanied by endearing names of his feline friends is absolutely transparent. . . And guess what?
I am not alone, but I am so incensed I will take the fall here. I am a proud UMS student. I have the right to enjoy this discussion board. I have no fear. I should not have to back away from a really wonderful experience like I have to avoid the insults to myself and others I have grown to respect and love. Therefore, I won't. I can understand disagreements which are unavoidable for the sake of our learning processes. I cannot understand the acceptance of this person's behavior. There is no need to be so cruel and hurtful. He is obviously a very intelligent man...and is clearly manipulating because somewhere along the line he was taught that this was ok.
The endured disrespect has been in a public forum, therefore so is this post. We need to stand up. We need to speak our minds. I for one, just have. Again, a response from non biased moderators is respectfully requested.
Edited by instinctual 9/29/2008 2:14 PM
Oh...I just read this.....and since I am the one that names my cats their real names, which are cute, I must know that you are talking about me.
If I have offended you, please accept my humble and sincere apology! I shall not trouble you again!
Peace and Love,
Marty and my cats: Luckylee Ruppert, Poppyhead Ruppert and Sissy Currey
Location: United Kingdom
|Marty - a couple of song references for you today to enjoy on other posts .... check me out if you cannot find them !|
|Lori,i love you greatly,you have my deepest respect,shine brightly as the star you truly are,stand tall,i will be at your side,and proud to be so,love irisx|
|Thanks everyone for your responses. I do await feedback from moderators regarding acceptable behavior. I feel it is necessary to clarify for the sake of all. I want to be sure we are all playing nice in this big ole sand box. |
Location: United Kingdom
|you always play nice by me I|
|Yes and thank you and likewise..as most here do not fling abrasive and caustic sand in the eyes of others, P....unless by mistake which can always happen..I thought that I was generally non |
confrontational because I recognize that tolerance and ultimately acceptance of everyone's path you cross IS the true path of a spiritual healer and or metaphysician, however I
stronger in my -----
convictions ------hence I am grateful these these bones were rattled!!!!
Theoretical/philosophical/ethical issues here for us all to ponder: If we do not set personal limits, if we do not live by example and if we do not speak out when something is simply not right,
ourselves, our world?
Don't we all have
accountabilities? Are we not all responsible for our actions, the safety of our surroundings? If you either witnessed unfairness on the street or were a victim of it .. would you sit back and
justify hurtful behavior and chalk.................
it up to........ tolerance? Would you scream out injustice and go into protection mode of either yourself or another? Would you sit back and wait for someone else to deal with it so you don't
have to bother?................
Would you walk away, and pretend you never saw it at all....would you talk about it with your friends, and never do a thing about it....
|Hi Lori, please see my private message. |
|its blatently obvious something wrong is going on here,and truths are hidden,i agree with all lori says,and if i be the one under attack,or deemed as being rude etc,me iris,tell me,muppet has taken the wrap,others have rudely ignored,so hence,reading other posts,concerning myself,and responses,and the jumble of underhand semingly disguised in clever grammer to confuse,i would like to know why,if this is a public forum,why is the rsponse to loris perfecly true observations,replied to in a private message for none to see,what message does that send out to the public,i feel the moderators,some under disguise,all keep together,and have not such spiritual cores as proclaimed,maybe one or two,but as this is not just a discussion board,but a business,in effect,could it be that maybe one,or maybe another member is not welcome here,but has not been told,if this is the case,as i feel especialy so with me,then just tell me,and i,ll gladly go,but this riddle of the sands approach is definately not spiritual,is it skins to be saved,or boats not to be rocked,or secrets not told bcause of their content,you have a duty as a public forum to be honest with all,and all to see,i await your reply,publicly,whats the point of lori making a complaint,observations,when she is so annoyed she has the courage of her convictions to say it out loud in public,then ignored by most,and still questions unanswered,iris|
|Thank you Tracy, I will respond. I appreciate your attention |
Iris, I as always appreciate your passion...
|These are the rules regarding use of the Discussion Board. |
It can be very helpful for each of us to consider language that builds up, opens, supports, and shares wisdom versus language that tears down, shuts up, judges, and does not allow for other opinions and beliefs, or dogmatically asserts one's own belief/preference/opinion as the only correct and reasonable and morally superior answer. Each of us has our own belief/preference/opinion, we can make it clear that it is so, and allow that others will have differences.
Sometimes the wording we use communicates subtle rigidities of opinion which others pick up and feel as an attack. Usually we can 'soften the blows' with one another in our responses, allowing for an even wider expression of perspectives. We are on a path which shifts us from layers and limitations in our responses to others to the authentic expression of our own truth. And so, there are times when we offend, let us gently steer ourselves back to the course. We are a community and as such we support one another in this venue as best we can. Thank you for all the loving support, forgiveness, encouragement, inspiration that you have given to me and to one another. It is a blessing to have a place to meet and explore.....
First and foremost, please be respectful of other people's beliefs.Don't try to convert anyone or try to change them. This is an area forfriendly discussion, not heated debates or browbeating.
In order to assure that all our users can understand your posts, please post in English.
Don't capitalize phrases and sentences. This is considered yelling. Youcan capitalize a word or two, that is fine, but please don't capitalizeentire sentances. If you would like to make a word stand out, you canalso bold or italicizeit by putting a b inside two brackets  in front of the word you wantto bold and also behind the word you want to bold with a /b inside thebrackets . Same with italicizing, only use an i instead of a b.
UMS reserves the right to delete extremely negative or derogatorycomments. We don't support political "bashing" against any publicfigure, nor do we support negative or frightening "expositions" on anysubject. This does not mean that you cannot discuss these things, forthey are part of the overall challenges of life in this era. However,try to find a loving way to speak about it, offer a solution to theproblem, or ask for someone else to offer a solution to the problem.The forum is meant to be inspirational and helpful to all who visit.
Don't use the forum as a place to blatantly advertise or try to solicitbusiness. These will be deleted by forum moderators. It is okay if youdiscuss your practice if it fits into the conversation, but don't usethe UMS forum as a place to purposely promote your work. Most of thepeople who are using the forum are doing the same work anyway, and itwould be like trying to sell something to someone else who sells thesame thing.
If you have questions about the University or Admissions, your fastestanswers will come through using the UMS contact page or emailing theUniversity directly. The forum does not have as fast a response time asour UMS contact page does at http://umsonline.org/OnlineForms/contact.htm.We respond far more quickly through email requests for information thanthrough forum discussions, as we don't have time to monitor the forumon a daily basis.
Enjoy and have fun! May your discussions on our forum be enriching!
Location: United Kingdom
|Thanks for the clarification Tracy. |
The Golden Rule rules maybe !? 'Treat others as you would want them to treat you' ?
I read an interesting variation of this also which is also I felt subtly different, 'Do not do unto others what you would not want them to do to you !"
Edited by Paul Joseph 10/1/2008 12:43 PM
|Thank you so kindly Tracy for your clarification, caring, attention and time!!! Thanks also Marty Paul and Iris and everyone for your candor and acknowledgement... |
|Dear Sweet Iris...please forgive me for the time it has taken to respond to this. I have been away, preoccupied, and I needed to really take another look at some of the posts where Lori and others have felt intimidated or disrespected because I was oblivious to it. I don't know for certain what else to say.|
Jill, Nefertiti, and I are the only ones who officially 'moderate' this Board and we are not required to do it on a daily or even a weekly basis. The Board was set up so that it is run on an honor system by the participants. YOU are the community who is reaching out to one another. It took a lot of courage for Lori to stand and say what she was experiencing, and it is an honor that we share in a supportive community of souls here. May the friendships deepen, may there be forgiveness, respect, and may all of our healing loving vibrations be given and received by one another.
Please, Iris, be at ease, associate with those whom you feel comfortable with, share your loving heart and sweet humor.
There are definitely posts which are ignored, or not responded to, some posts stand alone, try not to take things too personally. I am so sorry that you are seeing patterns of some subtle manipulation. The Board belongs to YOU.
Location: United Kingdom
|How right you are Tracy ... like the Hopi saying |
"We are the ones we have been waiting for" !
How nice too to see Margaret from UMS on the Board. Namaste All x
It is often difficult to really know and feel how we 'come across' to others when we post, and ensure that we do so with respect.
|I am glad to be on board, and to meet everyone! Thanks to Tracy for her efforts to clarify ~ I appreciate reading what she has offered from her heart... |
Thanks for the welcome, Paul
|My wonderful sister Margaret! Welcome! Yay!|
Location: United Kingdom
|The pleasure is all mine dearest Margaret |
... and Tracy too !
(that's a Winnie the Pooh honey-dripping Hum
that can also double, or dumble, or humble, or bubble - yet with no toil nor trouble nor grumble,
simply tumble in Love
for the sacred Sound of the Universal Soul ! x)
Edited by Paul Joseph 10/1/2008 1:49 PM
|Margaret, how nice to see you here, as I usually see you and feel you on the tail end of my tests and meditation experiences! Can you and Tracy hug each other, for me? |
Location: New Zealand
|I think this is a very important post, the response of which will shape the future of this board. It deserves a return flow of courage, care and attention that Lori quite rightly raised. In addition to a return flow of love, we need a sensible, structured response - balance of heart and mind. I know that I have withdrawn my time from the board because I have sensed a growing shift of energy. This energy - of egocentric self interest & demonstration, manipulation and power struggles in my mind is unacceptable - yet - here lies my own ego - of fear - growing just at the thought. We all have ego, we all have rational logical minds - it is not about getting rid of, it is about balance. And this forum, as a reflection of our human nature is a living breathing entity, varying between opposite poles - but does require to be brought back into balance. If I, as a UMS student have withdrawn, how many other people are waiting or observing, not feeling a welcoming energy. |
My view is that if people haven't been able to 'see'what has been going on, it is because the issues of power, control and manipulation are not part of their soul challenge. When we see what we don't like, it reflects a fear that we have within ourselves - and we all choose how we respond to this fear. I for example, became very fearful of reading many of the posts, acknowledged that potential within myself that would grow in power if I indulged, and decided to withdraw. Clearly, Lori has the courage to reflect a truth that is true for some of us - not perhaps for all. Every experience of every forum member is equally valuable, and therefore, we need to provide some clearer guidance to ensure that behaviour and intention does not consistently and repeatedly cause hurt, and lower the vibration of the forum. Even if our intent, or that we are unaware that our words are manipulative or hurtful, but they DO - we have a collective responsbility to bring ourselves back into balance with honesty, integrity and truth.
Some thoughts before you post:
Are you acting as a channel of peace i.e. even when using our minds, our intention is to bring wisdom and truth forth. Wisdom is not personal, it is universal. If you say something 'wise'- take 'credit' for being an open channel if you must - but the words don't belong to you, so you have nothing to prove or protect.
Are you acting in service, before self-interest. Neale-Donald Walsch said "your purpose is to bring joy to others, and in doing so, bring joy to yourself - IN THAT ORDER"
Review your words - is every single word sent with the intention of love for your fellow travel partner and human being - this does not mean you state your love, you DEMONSTRATE your love
Is your contribution to assist others in their positive transformation, or to demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy? We are all insecure in different ways, we need to find a way of supporting everyone - how can we help one another on our path to find self worth without it being at the the expense of others? I know that this is a difficult balance - if we look at the number 1 as an archetype - the 1 is self-orientated - in balance it inspires, bring forth new ideas, and treads new ground for others to walk. Out of balance it can arrogant (believing that inspiration comes from you, not through you), rude and self-driven. To bring the 1 into balance, the 1 needs to learn 'interdependence' - no man is an island, no man in more important, we all have equal valuable roles to play, and listening to your fellow team mates before speaking is key.
Finally, I'd like to finish with the Prayer of St. Francis - an excellent prayer for ensuring that your intent is in line with service orientated principles:
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
In my view, the dying is related to the death of the ego and self-interest.
Thank you to everyone for the opportunity to raise the vibration of this board.
|Thank you Louise for a very clear expression of spiritual intention. |
|Dearest Louise - |
With clarity of thought, a pure heart of healing and crystalline vision, you bring forth sentiments and words that I have grappled with and stumbled over whilst seeing through red colored glasses. Your words are palpable. I hope they resonate to all in the manner they need to be received. Blessings to you, and may you always shine!
|Hi, Lori ~ so glad to make contact with you here, after being on exams with you! |
I appreciate the gifts you have brought in to this board, by way of opening this discussion to reach core of the heart, towards an invitation to really 'live' the beautiful invocations of St. Francis, that Louise has put forth..... I give you a virtual hug, and will hug Tracy too!
Namaste and blessings to all ~
Location: New Zealand
|Having given this some further thought this morning, I have come to realise that I (as well as anyone else holding their energy and input back) is part of the problem, and part of the solution. This forum needs to be about balance, and respect. Unless all of us come forward, with our different energies, then perhaps that balance won't be realised. |
Perhaps we need to be respectfully more open - maybe even private messaging to say "hey, did I get you wrong, because I am really upset by your message?" where we have come to an understanding, it would be great to share that understanding with others - it is possible that the issue is one of perception, and we need to find a way to ensure that we are all being perceived as accurately to our intent as possible.
Regardless of how this is achieved, I would also ask anyone else reading this from the sidelines to step-forth and participate in the board so that a balance of all personalities can be achieved. In withdrawing, we take away someone else's right to be able to respond and for a reconcilliation to be achieved.
Location: Hirosaki, Japan
I believe it is totally and issue of perception, and I also feel like innocence is lost.
I really was afraid it would come to this and the law book would come crashing down as it always does.
To wrap everything, every single word that seems negative, in a blanket of compassion and understanding as much as possible transforms that energy.
Everyone we see in our lives is fighting a very hard battle, and i was honored that someone would show me their wound, not offended. Showing your wound to someone might take their breath away but it also mean?”look, im cut, please be careful, help me heal it." Not that i ever walk on egg shells in life, but even with my icon, its purpose was to invoke positive thoughts for people, if it failed to do so to any one person, i failed and ill try again, not because i am concerned with anyones perception of me, but because i failed to achieve my goal. as far as my thoughts on balance, i myself enjoy seeing the scales tip in either direction.
I enjoy a dramatic ebb and flow and consider that balance as well. To me true balance was the state before the scale and lawbook was drawn up, heh, the way i have always viewed law is " i wasnt consulted with the creation of the law, so i am not bound to another mans law."... but i understand society too.
in closing, every person is their own moderator, and everything put out here is a finished, thought out product, we had to type it after all.... there is no other state than true self, altered self is an illusion, and everything written is the writers golden word and an insight into them. Take the good and the bad as equal and beautiful, for they are all our own blooming flowers.
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