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DEATH ANYONE?
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mruppert
Posted 7/24/2008 12:25 AM (#7640)
Subject: DEATH ANYONE?



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Hi all:
     Paul made a statement in another forum in response to ( I think ) my statement. I said that I am not afraid of death. He said that "everyone" is afraid of death.
     Please correct me if I got it wrong, PJ!
     I think PeeJays statement had some meaning for me when I was much younger, and in a situation where I really did not want something bad to happen, particulary to me.
      But, now, I stand by what I said. True, I have concerns about immediate things....if a plane dropped on my head, who would feed the cats? If I were in the plane that dropped, same concern! Who is gonna feed the cats....they like to eat twice a day!
      So, Paul, I turn it back to you...you tell me why everyone is afraid of death. And, let everyone here declare that to be so!
      I have not the least bit of fear of it.....because I know that it is gonna happen, sooner or later. I hope that it is much much much later, but as the clock ticks, I know it gets less and lesser.
      But, you look at Jilly, she is surrounded by it. Yet, it doesn't diminish her spirit in the least iota. Maybe Jillster can give us some insight, maybe Jillster can allay your fears.

Peace, n' Love and Eternal Life,
Marty and Survivor Cats, Lucky, Poppyhead and CiccyGirl
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Tracy Martin
Posted 7/24/2008 1:07 AM (#7643 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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The meditations which relieve me of the most heaviness, the most stress are the ones in which I surrender myself to a vast Ocean of darkness. I allow myself to drown in it! I come out of it with a whole lot more peace than when I went in. But, why do I bring my meditation to a symbolic death? Because that is the most impactful event to my sense of self, to survival, and is a balm for all the fears that surround threats to my life, both egoic and physical. I do it because I recognize a primal fear that is built in to the being I perceive myself to be, in order to transcend my fear, and the temporary, changing, challenging reality I find myself in. Why do I do it? Because I seek a meaning and a sense of completion that transcends life and can see me through life. I recognize a certain terror that occasionally clutches me, the fear of my own death. When I was younger this fear was buried deeper and I projected that fear outward believing that I just couldn't handle the grief and loneliness that is felt by those remaining. And then, I witnessed my brothers death.

Allowing that this was indeed my inner perception, and I have experienced this 'feeling' at other times in my life, here is what happened. When his breath stopped, I watched as the last pulsing vein ceased, and in that moment I was transported as if with him into a great Ocean. I watched as he seemed to dive gracefully into it. It was dark. It was brilliant. It was perfect harmony. It was everywhere. It was nothing, it contained everything. It knew everything. It was bliss.

We are learning to make peace with the great Unknown while we live in a world of paradoxes, of suffering and challenges, of light and shadow, of the Eternal Self and the small vulnerable human self. How to bring the realization of this great harmony into one's own heart? It takes focus, faith, love, and a recognition that the world is always moving towards us, teaching us, beckoning us to take a walk with it inwards and meet that same dark Ocean at the core of our being.

What is it about us that makes us fear Death? It is inescapable, it inevitably happens to every one of us. I believe in multiple realities and the eternity of Beingness.  When I die, I won't exactly be 'me' any more, but some 'not a thing' that is inextricably a part of a Awareness, beautiful, pregnant with life force, creativity, pure knowingness and peace.

I have had thousands more thoughts on this, because at many  points in my life I have thought a lot about Death.
But the bottom line is I don't know. Bless the Unknown.

Death anyone?
May I have some sugar with that please?
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mruppert
Posted 7/24/2008 2:02 AM (#7648 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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"Death anyone?
May I have some sugar with that please?" -T.Martin

Traceling....you are fan-damn-tastic!
And, I told you, a much better writer than I could eve hope to be.

With respect, dear lady,
Marty and Sleepyheads, Luckylee, Poppyhead & the Sisster
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/24/2008 4:00 AM (#7656 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Will come back to you on this, of course Marty, but I have at this moment a busy and fraught day ahead, so cannot just now; just to say thanks for the posts and will respond.

Board is full of life !!
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/24/2008 4:05 AM (#7657 - in reply to #7656)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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'I think, feel, that none of us humans can say, we do not fear death '

Marty - the above is what I said; slightly different naunce to 'everyone fears death', and it was written in resopnse, emoitonal response to specific issues on another thread, as much an emotional feeling than a philosophical construct... also comes from a depth psychological perspective.

Personally, I am not sure we really deep down KNOW what we feel until at the point of the Great White Light; but if you feel you are, so be it, I would not wish to lay siege to that. Now I must get on with my court documents ....
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sunflower
Posted 7/24/2008 6:47 AM (#7661 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?


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What is wrong with everyone today!!!!.My take on it,is,i think most of the population is afraid of death,maybe not the actual dying,and what comes after,if they beleive,but the manner in which way they will die,i,e.an incurable painful lingering disease,etc.We may have knowledge,and thoughts of the afterlife,home,some have had experiences of near death,and seen things,which i totaly beleive in,and to be true.But,(never start a sentence with but iris),having been in the company of quite a few terminal patients,and listening to their accounts,i.e.what they are seeing,or whom,they beleive in the afterlife,but when the time actualy comes,a little doubt comes through,we grieve for those we leave behind we wonder what will happen to us in our coffin,under the ground,etc,and we become afraid because we suddenly think,what if all i beleived in a lifetime,is not true,and so much more.I have had a very close relative die,i was there,holding her hand,she beleived totaly in the afterlife,but she at the last moments,feared what was to come,its natural,inborn in us as humanS,death is the greatest fear,its never talked about,because i feel,even though we know in our heart,it is our ultimate fate,the fear of how,when,in what way,etc,takes over,thats my opinion,and as i have always been spiritualy aware,etc.i would be lying if i said,even though i have a knowing,that the actual event,time,etc,does not still some fear in me,love and hugs irisxxx
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/24/2008 7:22 AM (#7662 - in reply to #7661)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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So well put Dear Iris, Sunfllower, Petal, thanks - that's what was in my mind ... might have got round to putting it down, but you have saved me the effort ... how well expressed ... I am just so buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzily stressssssssssed today ... but trying to keep up ........................ xx
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Tracy Martin
Posted 7/24/2008 12:49 PM (#7671 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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I move in an out of feeling confident in my knowingness and doubtful of all that has ever been told. I still say, Bless the Unknown, cause its gonna happen some day no matter what I think and feel.

Sunflower, what a blessing to have been present for so many. If I were dying, I would want someone like you to hold me. Such love. Such kindness.
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/24/2008 3:34 PM (#7686 - in reply to #7671)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Ahh, me .. well then, since the unknown is inevitable we can either bless it or curse it ... or, as my dear old deceased friend Bro Ian SSF said, neither - embrace & accept it !

yet in blessing it we might also redeem it, and redeeming it, redeem ourselves xx

its late here for me and I am tired now = goodnight & sweet dreams all ...xxx
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Tracy Martin
Posted 7/24/2008 4:09 PM (#7688 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Here's what I wrote in the UMS Death and Dying Course:

Realizing how common the Fear of Death is,how strangling this fear can be, how gut-wrenching feelings of griefare, how we all dread even the news of the flood to come, helped me toknow that I can cope with my own feelings better. Re-experiencingmemories of those moments of fear and grief in the reading of thecourse, I experienced that fear as my future reality. I feeloverwhelming anguish when I think of losing my Mom. The fear and thegrief rise up even in the telling. The same for my sons. My own deathbrings out the Judge in me to accuse me and condemn me for all myfailures, and the victim child sobs as she embodies feelings of griefand fear in great shuddering abandon. I have a very dramatic innerlife.

But when my brother died, I experienced an ecstaticvision as I watched his pulse fade, so that the feelings of grief thatI had been having and expected to have also faded. What sadness I feltwas in missing Mark's presence, and sadness at the grief of our mother,his children, and family. Mark, or that essential energy that was warmand friendly, companionable, intelligent, and funny, is absolutelyfine. I feel certain that he is in a state of perfect harmony, peace,and fulfillment. Whether that means he is still Mark I do not know,or whether he reincarnates, I don't know. The personal identity seemsto matter less to me compared to the joy of diving into an Ocean ofBliss and feeling union with All.

I also felt proud of my familyand me throughout my brother's illness and dying. There was so muchlove and kindness and support all around, in spite of the anger,frustration, and fear. We were with him through it all. This pride gaveme a new inner acceptance and respect for the feelings I wasexperiencing, instead of my usual shame.

My feelings afterreading the course? I am still scared. Still grieving ahead of time. Imay continue on in my avoiding way and quell the fear of death thatway, or I may finally learn to have more compassion, trust, and peacethan fear and grief. Hopefully the latter. How I wish I could shinelike a more advanced and evolved person, one who has channeled spirits,and has utter confidence in past and future lives, and experienced theheavenly realms, or works in hospice care. I am more accepting of myignorance and my deep primal urges towards survival. I feel better.Powerful course! Peace!


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Supernatural3
Posted 7/24/2008 4:20 PM (#7690 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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It is NOT death we fear, it's the process of death and dying. We fear the pain, the suffering.

We also fear the unknown, which to some, it is unknown. So I can understand why some can truly think we all fear death, but I assure you. I do not FEAR death. I fear the process and hope that when it's my time, it's not traumatic, long or painful.

I certainly do not fear to be re-born into the spirit world by any means. I feel death is just Earth Graduation. As I channeled my mother-in-law just this past Christmas, who died Christmas Eve. I communicated with her fully. She was enjoying her graduation party. She said they were detaining her, due to it being theraputic to attend her own funeral. She was also accompanied by many. I mean TONS.... the party was HUGE. I could see so many people just in the other room.

Did I imagine all this? Who knows.... but she gave me names of people who were there with her (obviously crossed from earth), and my husband knew all the names I gave. These were not normal names either, they were unique (at least to me). I have only been married to my husband now for 3 years now and 3 days.  I couldn't have known these names, as I didn't prior.

She told me of a name, she heard her boys talking about at the morgue. I wasn't there. But I mentioned it to my husband and his mouth dropped. He knew I was not lying and knew that something did take place in communicating with his mom.

Am I crazy? Maybe...... But I will take my crazy over most people's sane.

Death? There is no death.... just a process of change.  

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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/25/2008 3:18 AM (#7692 - in reply to #7688)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Location: United Kingdom
Beautiful and open reflections, Tracy; many appreciations for laying your vulnerabilities open in this way ...

Who knows what we fear and don't fear and why ? I am often reminded here of God's answer to Job ....

I did my ums doctoral thesis on matters relating to death, dying and the aftermath; but I also resonate that, the more we know, the less we really know ... now Keats is coming to mind .. was it:

"Truth is beauty and beauty is truth; that's all ye know on earth and all ye need to know of Heaven" ? (from memory so could have the quote wrong ... aah, then, but what is truth (as Pilate asked Jesus, to which he, the Holy One, remained silent ... and what is beauty .... ?

So many questions, so little time !! xx
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Supernatural3
Posted 7/25/2008 10:41 AM (#7701 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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I disagree with knowing less, is knowing more.
When God gives you proof, isn't that a good knowing?

Each person has to experience their own truth, I have experienced mine. I have total faith in my experiences and it has brought me peice and knowing. To be honest, I wish everyone would have such experiences and one way or another, if they ask, they shall get. The problem is, they don't notice such experiences as being real. It takes confirmation, which is the convincer of that faith. Then their is no doubt, because that portion is removed once the experience takes place.

I have no doubt that God knows what he is doing. His knowledge is already inside of us all.


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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/25/2008 10:48 AM (#7702 - in reply to #7701)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Location: United Kingdom
How synchronistic is that? I was ruminating about stuff, and looked at a quotation from Crowfoot, Native American ... and wondered if I should post it; then if I did, on what thread? Then thought, maybe this one, paradoxically: so went on it and here was a post from DocJ , so took that as a sign ...

WHAT IS LIFE ?

It is the flash of a firefly in the night.

It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.

It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset
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Supernatural3
Posted 7/25/2008 11:11 AM (#7705 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Yep, Quick indeed

If you think about it, compaired to all eternity, our life would be just a blink.

So the flash of a firefly in the night - would be letting your light shine, so others can find you.

It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime- would be for the warmth, given to others.

It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset - perhaps given a little shade to those who have taken on too much heat.

We all give so much...... even if we do not notice. Perhaps the shadows, heat and light are a great combination for life, as we experience it here.

Great Post Paul~
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/25/2008 11:15 AM (#7709 - in reply to #7705)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Location: United Kingdom
Thanks DocJ ... lighting candles, not cursing darknesses ... !
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mruppert
Posted 7/26/2008 1:55 AM (#7729 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Hi all:
     Maybe it is best to try to consider it in perspective...so I offer you one of my perspectives on it.....I was a student at Catholic U during the late '60's. CUA is in Washington, DC, our nations capital, and the city had gone through some of the worst rioting that could ever be imagined....it made the Motor City Burning look like a July 4th sparkler. There was great racial tension, as Washington is NOT what you believe it to be, it IS a predominately black city, nothing new to me or my sisters, as we grew up in Brooklyn, New York.
      During these tense times, I and my sister (the other one came later) walked about wherever we wanted quite freely. The kids from other places hid in their dorms, and phoned their parents hourly, to let them know that they hadn't yet been savaged and raped.
       I was going up to see some friends who lived in an apartment over Hefley's Stationary Store on 12th St, NE.
WARNING....THE NEXT PART HAS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE (THOUGH HIDDEN) AND IF YOU MIGHT BE OFFENDED CLICK TO ANOTHER FORUM.........if you believe in guardians than you must read further....and suck the graphic language up as part of the experience!

Okay, I had walked up Otis St to 12th and was heading towards Perry St, which is where my friends lived, across the street, on 12th. Four black dudes accosted me. I told them that I ain't givin them my money. One of the dudes responded that they didn't want no money , that they just wanted to kill some white m$#e#sF&c%e%r.  A gun came out, and I remember staring at that barrel, thinking that I could jump aside the second the bullet left the barrel. I really thought, now I am truly f^c$ed! But then, they started to pummel me, and I went down fairly quick, as they were far more in numbers and much bigger than I. I "covered up" to avoid blows that could be fatal........and all of a sudden there was this unearthly scream!!!!
     Now, I know you all may not want to believe this, but I will tell you exactly what happened...and perhaps cause even one of you to rethink when I say that miracles and angels exist, because they do.......
      Whenever there is a blood curdling scream, it is human nature to turn your head and look in the direction it came from. As I did, so did my assailents. What we saw was a dude fly off the balcony of the very place I was going, and sail effortless across a city street and land at my feet!!!!!
     Needless to say, my attackers  took off tout-sweet! They beat their feet. Feet dont fail me now!!!!!! Gone!
      And a guy named Tom Dundin, standing over me asking me if I was all right, did I need help?
      He 'flew" off a balcony and across a street, to save my a@@. Five people saw it!
       I have believed in miracles ever since. 
So, from one of my tastes of death,
Peace and Love,
Marty and KittyKats, Lucky, Poppy and Sissy
P.S. My little Inky was alive then, and she would have been an orphan if I never came home!
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Rose
Posted 7/26/2008 3:42 AM (#7733 - in reply to #7688)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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One thing I notice from taking the courses is how much more empowered I feel. My inner strength is growing and glowing.

On Death...after my Mother's death I could still hear her voice just as clearly as if she were alive. I felt a big warm hug from her the night she passed. I was crying and was so deeply upset that I didn't think I could bear all the pain, but then out of no where this big warm hug and just like that all the pain subsided and it felt as though I hadn't been crying. I've never felt anything like that, ever before.

This is a wonderful thread...

Much Love and Peace to all of you.....
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/26/2008 8:03 AM (#7739 - in reply to #7729)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Marty - resonate right on with miracles and, Rose, miraculous living ... i am sure I posted on this before, Heaven on the Underground or some such but cannot find it ... will recount those miraculous happenings in my recent life if anyone is interested, without wishing to be repetitive ... but certainly my feel is that the more we open ourselves to live intuitively, the universe responds and sends us miracles, of all kinds xx
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sunflower
Posted 7/26/2008 8:15 AM (#7740 - in reply to #7671)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?


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oh tracey,what a lovely thing to say,thankyou,what i love about you is your kind,genuine,words,straight from the heart.I read your post,on death,and the lesson,and i can connect with some,but not understanding all,only because i have not reached your level of understanding,which i dearly hope to do.You know,when you talked about being with your brother,when he was dying,it brought tears to my eyes,but also an understanding.I have a long way to go,but i take gentle steps.One thing i must say is,to me there is a difference between death,and dying.I say this,because the actual word death itself,brings fear,but i have experienced the final moments,from my daughters last moments,before she went home.The mc millan nurses had a word with her,and asked if she knew what was happening,she said i know i am dying,but i am not afraid,i worry about what will become of my mum,and my brothers.So,as i had travelled this journey with her,there were lots of different moments.I remeber her being upset,and saying to me,i thinkthis will be my ast christmas,then birthday,she was afraid,but i reassured her,that it was not so.Its along story,so i won,t go on,but weeks before the end,it was obvious she had a foothold in the next world,and one on this earthpane,she had seen home,but was attached to earth,family,etc.but,and this is my point,what she had seen of home.was so beautiful,so loving,its where her spirit belonged,hence the words,i am not afraid of dying,passing,going home.Am i making sense between the known,and the unknown,it is human to fear,but once at the gateway,the brigde,fear is not a spirit experience.Okay,love and light,all things good,love and hugs irisxxx
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/26/2008 8:52 AM (#7744 - in reply to #7740)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



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Location: United Kingdom
Perfect sense, Sunflower. Blessings x
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Kiddo Green
Posted 7/27/2008 1:33 AM (#7826 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?


Hello-
I am new to the forum and I am a new student. I just found this line of discussion cogent to my personal experience and interesting. I am in both a 'grieving process" and a living-with-dying situation right now. I lost a dear friend and confidente this last year to suicide (not my first, but I hope my last), and my mother has leukemia and breast cancer. I also have a 22 month old son.

While I myself am welland I am not dying myself, my mother's impending demise as well as the recent death of my friend has forced me to take a closer look at death, the grieving process and life/living. It has literally shaken my existential foundation. (let me just say that I have worked in the field of pyschology for years. I have been counseling for some time. I find that no matter how much wisdom I spew out day after day, the words and insights somehow seem trivial and meaningless when I am faced with crises myself. I can say that I am gaining a deeper wisdom through this process. I am sure to come out stronger...if it doesn't kill me! (hahaha!)

Anyway, the subject is so much on my mind, I wonder how much of the grieving is my own and how much of it is someone else's, i.e. my dear departed friend's wandering soul or even some of my mother's misdirected and projected grief. I am just mired in it. So much so, that sometimes it feels like "I" am suicidal. I just feel nutty. When I sit back and center myself, i realize that it is merely my desire to kill the feelings inside. My unconscious is crying out, "kill the pain, end this now!" It is so simple it is ridiculous. Albeit, painful!

So, the process is unfolding as it should. I agree with an earlier post that we fear the process. I also believe that we fear the loss. And, if it someone very dear to us and we do not know how to commune with them in the beyond, we fear the Silence and the Void. We might fear that the memories will fade or that a piece of us is dying with the departed.

I am going to give my OPINION here: I believe the subject of death and dying to be a complex one, principally because it is such an emotionally charged topic. As humans, we just can't help it. Many are confused and frightened by death, while others are not. Of course, there are some that do not fear death in and of itself. (It is not so scary when you really look at it. And, why fear what you don't know, right?) But, I think if we look at death and dying only from this one perspective, then we would be overlooking our human experience as first sentient beings and secondly as social beings. These two inherent qualities make the human experience of death and dying confusing, painful and frightening. The topic is so much more complex than just one's own death. When faced with the inevitable, we become aware of own mortality, our own purpose/meaning, and, as such, own our decline and loss of value/worth. Likewise, we might fear losing loved ones, we might wonder if their memories will fade and what does that mean: do we love them any less? And, what will happen when we go? Will others remember me? Do others love me? Am I loved? These are just SOME things that people ponder and have shared with me through my counsleing practice and I myself have uncovered through my own personal experience.

For my own experience with the process, I personally dread my own mother's passing and I fear any 'mother issues' still yet unresolved. I find myself in a hurry to resolve them as quickly as possible. It makes it vey difficult to be present in the moment for myself, my mother, and my family. Yes, I am aware of what is happening, but some some reason, I am simply compelled to press on with my campaign to 'make it all better'. I know that the solution is within myself. And, perhaps, I am getting closer to that point.

Another way to look at it is that death represents the ultimate change in the human life cycle. Even the most fluid, flexible and faithful individual will at some point be faced with this inevitable change. How the person perceives and copes with the finality is really what is in question here. And, I bleive truly believe that even the faithful has doubts when it comes to death. And, again it may not be the kind of doubts/fears that one normally expects.

I share my personal experience/reflections of pain and fear not for sympathy, but to support the position that death and dying is a painful and sometimes indeed a frightening prospect.

Anyway, I am babbling. I didn't realize I had so much to say. I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone.

Take care and have a good evening.

With fae'th,
Cara



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Kiddo Green
Posted 7/27/2008 1:33 AM (#7827 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?


Hello-
I am new to the forum and I am a new student. I just found this line of discussion cogent to my personal experience and interesting. I am in both a 'grieving process" and a living-with-dying situation right now. I lost a dear friend and confidente this last year to suicide (not my first, but I hope my last), and my mother has leukemia and breast cancer. I also have a 22 month old son.

While I myself am welland I am not dying myself, my mother's impending demise as well as the recent death of my friend has forced me to take a closer look at death, the grieving process and life/living. It has literally shaken my existential foundation. (let me just say that I have worked in the field of pyschology for years. I have been counseling for some time. I find that no matter how much wisdom I spew out day after day, the words and insights somehow seem trivial and meaningless when I am faced with crises myself. I can say that I am gaining a deeper wisdom through this process. I am sure to come out stronger...if it doesn't kill me! (hahaha!)

Anyway, the subject is so much on my mind, I wonder how much of the grieving is my own and how much of it is someone else's, i.e. my dear departed friend's wandering soul or even some of my mother's misdirected and projected grief. I am just mired in it. So much so, that sometimes it feels like "I" am suicidal. I just feel nutty. When I sit back and center myself, i realize that it is merely my desire to kill the feelings inside. My unconscious is crying out, "kill the pain, end this now!" It is so simple it is ridiculous. Albeit, painful!

So, the process is unfolding as it should. I agree with an earlier post that we fear the process. I also believe that we fear the loss. And, if it someone very dear to us and we do not know how to commune with them in the beyond, we fear the Silence and the Void. We might fear that the memories will fade or that a piece of us is dying with the departed.

I am going to give my OPINION here: I believe the subject of death and dying to be a complex one, principally because it is such an emotionally charged topic. As humans, we just can't help it. Many are confused and frightened by death, while others are not. Of course, there are some that do not fear death in and of itself. (It is not so scary when you really look at it. And, why fear what you don't know, right?) But, I think if we look at death and dying only from this one perspective, then we would be overlooking our human experience as first sentient beings and secondly as social beings. These two inherent qualities make the human experience of death and dying confusing, painful and frightening. The topic is so much more complex than just one's own death. When faced with the inevitable, we become aware of own mortality, our own purpose/meaning, and, as such, own our decline and loss of value/worth. Likewise, we might fear losing loved ones, we might wonder if their memories will fade and what does that mean: do we love them any less? And, what will happen when we go? Will others remember me? Do others love me? Am I loved? These are just SOME things that people ponder and have shared with me through my counsleing practice and I myself have uncovered through my own personal experience.

For my own experience with the process, I personally dread my own mother's passing and I fear any 'mother issues' still yet unresolved. I find myself in a hurry to resolve them as quickly as possible. It makes it vey difficult to be present in the moment for myself, my mother, and my family. Yes, I am aware of what is happening, but some some reason, I am simply compelled to press on with my campaign to 'make it all better'. I know that the solution is within myself. And, perhaps, I am getting closer to that point.

Another way to look at it is that death represents the ultimate change in the human life cycle. Even the most fluid, flexible and faithful individual will at some point be faced with this inevitable change. How the person perceives and copes with the finality is really what is in question here. And, I bleive truly believe that even the faithful has doubts when it comes to death. And, again it may not be the kind of doubts/fears that one normally expects.

I share my personal experience/reflections of pain and fear not for sympathy, but to support the position that death and dying is a painful and sometimes indeed a frightening prospect.

Anyway, I am babbling. I didn't realize I had so much to say. I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone.

Take care and have a good evening.

With fae'th,
Cara



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Kiddo Green
Posted 7/27/2008 1:39 AM (#7828 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?


sorry for the multi post. My connection went haywire when i hit the submit button.

c
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Paul Joseph
Posted 7/27/2008 3:58 AM (#7829 - in reply to #7640)
Subject: RE: DEATH ANYONE?



PhD Alumni

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Location: United Kingdom
Good to hear from you dear Cara; welcome to the Board; but I am so sorry to hear of your situation and value your sharing it. My father died in 2005 and such passings, anticipatory and afterwards, are always with us and remind us - me, anyway - of the fragility of our time here.

Blessings

Paul
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