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Depression and Suicide
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Posted 3/3/2008 8:31 AM (#3749)
Subject: Depression and Suicide

UMS Guest

Posts: 1938
Location: United Kingdom

Dear Friends,

A friend wrote to me from Japan yesterday and told me that the suicide figures in that country – in common with the other countries in the developed world – have reached suicidal proportions. In the hope of being able to help someone somewhere, who has got lost in the mists of the illusion of our earthly existence, to see their way forward in life more clearly again, I would like to share my reflections on the two sister subjects depression and suicide with as many people as possible. It seems to me that the best way of doing this is by opening on this Message Board a new thread that is dedicated to this theme.

If you yourself are feeling depressed and at times possibly even suicidal, how about taking a printout and sitting down in a quiet place somewhere to read it? Should there be someone around you who is in that state, to show your love and concern for them you could present them with a printout, in the hope of reaching them and getting through to them on some level. To my mind, the least we can do is try; that’s what my reflections are about.


Depression is one of the many mysterious conditions that are presently raging in our world. It surely is one of the most mystifying illnesses that have plagued humankind, possibly ever since we descended deeper and deeper into the suffering and pain that thus far seems to have been an inevitable part of life in physicality. The more we lost the contact with our Source, the deeper the suffering and the stronger the soul’s longing and yearning to return to the state of Heavenly bliss, of the oneness with God, that is its true home.

In a society that no longer has a centre – although we are slowly regaining it – life may frequently appear hopeless and pointless. Many these days live in a purely material existence that lacks the inner direction of knowing that this life serves a higher purpose. They know not why they are here and what they are meant to do. This can be such a frightening experience for some that they start looking towards what on the surface looks like a way out, namely suicide. It is by now reaching epidemic proportions, as the relevant statistics reveal, especially among the young. At the threshold of the Aquarian Age this is hardly surprising because among the souls now coming in are a great many highly evolved and therefore extremely sensitive ones. Unbeknown to their earthly self, their soul has chosen one of its most difficult experiences ever, that of having to face and coming to terms with existing in over-materialistic societies.

When such souls run into the difficulties this presents, many initially turn to a pastime that has become extremely popular these days and that is intellectualising the emotional/spiritual problems of the human psyche. The abundance of books that have been written in this vein speaks volumes in itself. On the surface of things it may appear is if such an approach could offer a quick fix to the solution of all human problems by explaining them away intellectually, thus creating a shortcut on our way to enlightenment. To find it is every soul’s birthright but not through spending its time by playing with words. They are part of the illusion of this world and unless they are followed up by right thoughts and deeds, at best they will count as nothing; at worst they will rebound on us and work against us.

The spiritual pathway – more about it in the chapter ‘The Resolution’ – is a narrow one and the only safe way of treading it, to my mind, is by turning towards our inner guidance; it alone can tell us what is right or wrong in any given situation. Apart from that it is important never to forget that we do not have to walk on the Earth alone. God and the Angels are with and our Guardian Angel is always there to help us even in the smallest endeavour. They know when we are ready to find out more about God, ourselves and the world we are living in. And when that moment comes, they guide us towards the right people and places.

More than anything else a depressed soul is crying out for is knowledge of the cause of its suffering. Equipped with this it becomes possible to work our own way out of this prison that was built through sheer ignorance, i.e. the lack of understanding.  That is what my life has taught me and will now attempt to share my learning with you. It is true that we all create our own suffering. Yet, we do not do this because we are masochists by nature but for very sound spiritual reasons.

The first step of any journey is the most important one; the road to recovery is the same – it is a journey. To enable us to get going on this one it is essential that first of all we become aware again of the fact that we are all eternal beings who cannot die. It was and still is a wonderful revelation to me that everybody’s life continues after our spirit and soul have parted company with our physical bodies, and that we go into what is known as the world of spirit. Although I personally have no taste for this kind of thing, a great deal of evidence is by now available that it does exist. It is the place – better the level of life – where we go at physical death to recuperate and recover from the stresses and strains of Earth life. Death of the body is but one single phase of life and means nothing more than a transformation that moves the human soul onto the above mentioned level; life always goes on with an uninterrupted flow.

When one feels depressed and maybe even suicidal, there is no point in giving in to the accompanying thoughts and feelings, because on the other side of the veil of consciousness, one still has to face oneself. The difficulties one was trying to leave behind have to be tackled, because they are there for a purpose. As they came into our life to teach us something, they will always be there and waiting to be resolved. They will not go away on their own, but eventually – one way or another – must be faced, worked with and hopefully resolved by none other than ourselves, in one of our coming lifetimes, probably the next one.

That is why I feel it is better by far to make an effort at finding resolutions and healing our troublesome relationships – especially the most difficult one, the one with ourselves – whilst still on this side of life. If that is not possible on our own, it will do us good to swallow our pride and have the wisdom to reach out for a helping hand, either on this or the higher level of life, ideally both. I admire anyone’s courage, wisdom and determination to find healing for their condition, because that is never an enterprise for the faint hearted. And I applaud any effort that is made to do so because I believe that we are all in this life together to seek healing for our soul. It is the very reason why we are here.

 By the way, none of my beliefs are gleaned from other people’s publications. They are intuitive knowledge that comes from my inner guru – to my mind, the only reliable one in the whole of Creation. It is my Highest of God Self who knows the way of all things and to all those who are willing to pay attention to theirs, it is waiting at all times to give feedback as to what’s right or wrong in any situation. There’s a snag though! As it can only be accessed through the world of our feelings, many men seem to have difficulties with their inner teacher, because they have never been encouraged to stay in touch with and acknowledge their feelings.

Depression is caused by suppressed and unexpressed feelings that have accumulated in our subconscious in the course of this lifetime and there are also likely to be remnants of unresolved issues from previous ones; we all have them. Reasoning unpleasant feelings away with intellectual jargon and arguments is counterproductive; it is unlikely to bring either the wisdom or the healing which the human soul is constantly in search of, so that it may find release from its prison of darkness and depression. The only thing that can bring that is about is staying with our feelings, going with them and experiencing them and then, as one gradually finds out, getting rid of them once and for all. From this process alone can wisdom come and our understanding of life grow, which is after all the main purpose of every lifetime on the Earth plane. And at last our soul finds peace and healing.

There is no other way because that is how the great wisdom of our Creator made us to be. Every soul is here to get to know, each through its own experiences, the fullness of life, its ups and downs, its pain and sorrow, as well as its joys, so that it may grow in understanding. If we deny ourselves that, what would the point be of being here? It is a shame that many have to come to this realisation through the experience of depression and feeling suicidal. So much of Earth’s suffering could so easily be avoided, if only we knew! Ah, but without living through it we would never find out! And that is the only way of getting where we are going, back home into our true nature and the oneness with God.

If we deny our experiences, the feelings they bring and the learning that comes from them, what would the point be of being here? There wouldn’t be any! It is a shame that many have to come to this realisation through the experience of depression and feeling suicidal, when a great deal of Earth’s suffering could so easily be avoided, if only we knew! Ah, but without living through our experiences we would never find out anything; we would not learn, we would not grow! As that is the only way of getting where we are going, back home into our true nature and the oneness with God, we might as well get on with it.


‘That is all very well,’ I hear you say. ‘But what happens to all those who do not yet have any idea of all this and therefore go ahead and commit suicide? The Universe is with everybody; it knows the way of all things; it knows everybody’s heart and soul better than we ourselves do; it knows our past, present and future. Above all, it knows when a soul has suffered long and hard enough to have learnt its lesson and cannot take any more. Apart from being omniscient it is also omnipotent, as well as merciful. Whenever a soul has reached that point, the Angels are allowed to take it back home into the world of spirit, where it is tenderly administered to and receives healing, until it is ready to be confronted with itself and its life lessons.

The Universe never judges us; we ourselves do this, but you can about this in more detail in other parts of my jottings. It does not call anyone back, unless the purpose of any given lifetime has been fulfilled, at whatever age this may be and in whichever manner the soul has passed on. It is important not to cling unto those who have moved on, because the only thing that can do is to hold both parties back in their evolutionary progress. If we love someone, we have to let them go in peace. To talk about anyone’s earthly demise as ‘untimely’, to my mind, means to doubt the great wisdom and love of our Creator. The Great Spirit, the Father/Mother of all life, is the Highest authority over everything in the whole of Creation and the only one who has any true power. Nothing is beyond or outside Its will, therefore, any soul’s departure from the Earth plane cannot ever come about without Its consent; this applies to any kind of death, therefore also to all suicides.

At the same time, quite literally, no-one is beyond the love and the mercy of God. After all, this is the only one in the whole of Creation who can truly appreciate when the soul’s mental and spiritual struggle has been going on for long enough. When it goes beyond the amount of suffering that is good and reasonable for that soul’s growth to endure, the Angel of death comes and releases it. I believe that, even in the case of suicide, the manner and the moment of our death are predestined; and that the whole experience is always intended to provide valuable lessons for the soul that passes on, as well as for those it leaves behind. Considering that nothing in God’s Creation can ever be truly lost, in the final analysis, suicide is but one way of returning to the world of light.

White Eagle tells us in ‘The Way to the Age of Spirit’ from ‘The Lightbringer’: ‘It is true, there is no death. When you have passed the great barrier, you will be amazed and say: ‘But I did not feel anything! Am I dead? I feel exactly the same.’ There is no difference, except you have taken one dress [your physical body] off and left it behind. You are no longer interested in it. That is all that death means. You are eternal and as you are today, so you will be tomorrow. As you create yourself, and build the spiritual atoms into your soul, you will be able to enjoy the fruits which the Lord has prepared for you, in the higher state of life.’

What then is it that is stopping us from trying to escape wholesale from our experiences on this side of the veil, whenever the going gets tough? The loving wisdom of our Creator has provided that deep within the very core of every soul memories are stored of the sacred knowledge of God’s true nature and of our own, as well as that of our true home. None can get away from themselves and their final destiny. It is the same for every soul, namely to become so highly evolved that it will be possible for its energies to fully merge again with those of its Source. Please tell me, who in their right senses would want to get away from that? But doesn’t that yet again highlight the importance of taking ourselves and our character in hand? The closer the soul comes to the light of the knowledge of its true being, the more it realises that taking its own life, when things seem to difficult to handle, never has been and never will be an escape route at all. But like all lessons of Earth, the one of suicide can only be learnt through first hand experiences. That is why every soul has to end its earthly existence in this manner at least once.


The Age of Aquarius is a time for the rebirth of the human spirit. Aquarius is one of the Air signs; they rule the intellect. We are all here to become aware again of our own true nature and that of God.  During this age, it is every soul’s birthright to find spiritual wisdom and truth that comes directly from the Source of our being. No matter how diverse everybody’s way of and outlook on life may be, we are all on the same pathway. Every human being is a child of God, the Universe, as some prefer to call it, because we all contain a spark of the Divine. This spark is now trying to come alive and the spirit, the Highest Self, is trying to break through in everybody. But as in most people the inner connection with God has been buried underneath layers of unexpressed and suppressed feelings, especially our deepest and innermost fears, great difficulties are encountered; more about this in a moment.

Before God every small earthly self stands alone and has to face the arduous and heroic task of working its way through all its fears; the fear of God and of life, of the unknown and going forward no matter what, and the fear of death. Rising above all of them is the most difficult and final test each soul must pass on its way home into the full realisation of its true nature. No soul can or has to do this on its own; God and the Angels are waiting to be called upon by each one of us to come to our rescue. Help will not come to anyone on its own but has to be asked for. The human love and devotion we give to them are the solvent that will release us from all our inner prisons; it is the only one.

Interestingly, the latest research reveals that antidepressants may not be as effective as the pharmaceutical industry and the medical profession had once promised and hoped for. This does not surprise me one bit because they never did offer any solutions whatever. To bring depression and suicidal thoughts to an end, reliably and permanently, in my view cannot be done by pumping our bodies full of chemicals. As a crutch they may be helpful and even necessary for a while, to mask and suppress the most unpleasant symptoms. This will have to suffice until one feels strong enough to start looking for alternative ways to get to the underlying emotional/spiritual soul issues that are the roots of our problems.

Many of the most unpleasant feelings that accompanied past life traumatic experiences are now stored in our subconscious, where they have been slumbering for a very long time. Those that were too unpleasant and difficult to face at the time remained unacknowledged and were therefore suppressed. Now they are holding up the soul’s spiritual progress and are waiting for their final resolution. Until we work our way through them by acknowledging and feeling them, they cannot be released.

As this process cannot be delayed forever, at certain times in our lives they will refuse to be pushed away and begin to demand our attention more urgently. Ever more loudly they know at the door of our conscious mind, but the earthly self does not understand what is at stake, especially when strong fears rise to the surface. Too frightened of its own feelings, it naturally shies away from them; the more it does this, the deeper it sinks into depression. It goes to the doctor, hoping that s/he may have some kind of magic wand; but all that conventional medicine has to offer is chemicals!

To my mind, it is much preferable to get to work on our feelings in the here and now, as unresolved issues that are left behind at the end of any lifetime have to be brought back into every subsequent one. Our problems will not go away on their own; time and again, if need be, they must be faced until they have been resolved, so that our consciousness can finally be cleansed of them. That is why, to me, the only sensible solution for ending depression is through seeking healing. Judging by my own experiences, the best way of doing this is through finding a better understanding of ourselves, and becoming aware that evolution is the purpose of all life throughout the whole of Creation, including that of the Earth.

Some wonderful moments of revelation are in store for us when we lift our eyes and start to look beyond the end of our own noses and suffering, and recognise why we are here. As the vision slowly clears, we begin to distinguish that there is so much more to Earth life than meets the eye. And a sense of security begins to develop with the increasing realisation that there really is such a thing as a benevolent higher force at work behind our present existence that takes care of all humankind’s needs on all levels of life. It is so gentle and loving that it never forces anyone to do anything against their will, but it is at all times trying to coax the human soul, individually and collectively, forward and upwards onto ever higher levels of perception.

Depression is something I have been struggling with for at least thirty years, possibly the whole of this lifetime. More than likely the things I am wrestling with to this day are unresolved issues from past lifetimes. I am a very private person and not given to public confessions. But I am willing to make an exception to show you that any knowledge I am sharing with you here has grown organically inside me. My overall message for anyone feeling suicidal is: Don’t! There is no point; you’ve got to come back and do it all over again. Take it from me; it will be even more difficult, as your feelings will then have been buried under yet another layer of the fear of facing yourself and your issues. No matter what kind of situation you are now in, there is always a way forward. You cannot see it? All you have to do is ask and it will be shown to you. ‘Seek and ye shall find,’ is true here, possibly more than in any other aspect of life. Knock at the door of your Highest or God Self and ask for Its help, and it will be opened unto you and help will come!

That in truth is what all depression is about. The direct inner connection with our Highest Self we once had, in the course of many lifetimes has been buried under layer upon layer of the rubble of our soul memories of past traumas; each new lifetime piled yet another layer on top. All of them together are now nothing but excess baggage from other lifetimes that is waiting to be worked through and released; that is the only purpose they now serve. Letting go of mine always feels like the peeling of an onion; as skin after skin falls away and dissolves, my inner connection with God becomes ever clearer – yours will be the same.

To paraphrase ‘Desiderata’: You are a beloved child of the Universe, the same as the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. You are a precious and unique being of light. Whether you are as yet aware of this or not, we are all on a spiritual pathway; all that means is to rediscover that we are spirit and soul, only temporarily encased in matter. You are here to become aware that all life is subject to Universal laws and to learn to conduct your life responsibly and in accordance with any spiritual knowledge you may find. Do not miss the opportunity the Universe is offering you. Your depression is in truth an Angel in disguise. Take its hand, as it reaches out for you and walk with it to find the gift it is trying to bring you. The knowledge of your true nature is your passport to immortality! To find it, that’s what you came into this lifetime for. Don’t throw this chance away or you could be very sorry when you return to your true home, the world of spirit.

You have a right to be here. You have a right to find happiness and healing, and to become a healer in your own right, who can show others that their lives and their experiences are valid and worth living, the same as yours. We are all responsible for our own lives and my advice to anyone feeling suicidal is: Don’t give up; go for it! Find healing; walk that wondrous journey of discovery hand in hand with God and the Angels; they are waiting to be called upon by you. Know that you are loved. No matter what you think, do or say, you are loved. For one thing, I love you; that’s why I wrote this. God bless you and keep you safe, always.

There is nothing I can give you that you have not,
But there is much, so very much that –
While I cannot give it – you can take.
No Heaven can come to us,
Unless our heart finds rest in today: take heaven.
No peace lies in the future
That is not hidden in this moment: take peace.
The gloom of the world is but a shadow.
Behind it – yet within everybody’s reach – there is joy.
There is a radiance and glory in the darkness,
Could we but see; and to see, we have only to look.
I beseech you to look.

Life is so generous a giver, but we –
Judging its gifts by their covering –
Too often cast them away as ugly or heavy or hard.
Remove the covering and you will find beneath it
e living splendour, woven with the love,
Wisdom and power of the Divine.
Welcome it, grasp it,
And you touch the Angel’s hand
That brings it to you.
Everything we call a toil, a sorrow or a duty,
Believe me, the Angel’s hand is there.
That gift is there and the wonder of an
Over-shadowing presence
That protects us, is joyous too.

Be not content with these joys,
For they conceal even greater gifts.
And so, at this time, I greet you –
Not quite as the world sends greetings,
But with profound esteem and with a prayer
That for you, now and forever,
The day may break and the shadows flee away.

Fifteenth Century Prayer

Recommended Reading:

? ‘Depression – the Way out of your Prison’ by Dr. Dorothy Rowe
? ‘Beyond Fear’ by Dr. Dorothy Rowe
? ‘The Courage to Live’ by Dr. Dorothy Rowe

The first book is my all time favourite; reading it, many years ago, truly was a life-changing experience for me. However, there were no bright flashes of enlightening, but a gradually awakening understanding within me that we always have choices in life; and that we do not have to put up with circumstances that are no longer right for us and possibly never were.

Over some time, this led me into the realisation that this freedom of choice brings with it the responsibility of acting on our knowledge and learning to choose wisely. To me, the greatest beauty and attraction of Dr. Rowe’s writings always has been that she does not come across as one of those ‘oh, so spiritual’ writers. If anything, she is the opposite. Her writings are in a class of their own; although they are of a deeply spiritual nature, she insists on telling her readers that this is not so. And she is right; on the surface of things, her books are not spiritual ones. It’s hard to explain, but if you have never read any of her works, you really have missed out on something.

With Love and Light,


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