Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg
Tracy Martin
Posted 9/10/2008 6:29 PM (#10108)
Subject: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Location: California
I have found the work of Marshall Rosenberg regarding communication to be inspiring and revealing. It has been valuable to me both in self-talk and talking with others.

http://www.cnvc.org/en/what-nvc/nonviolent-communication Website

It was interesting for me to realize that I was very much out of touch with what my and others needs are, and that I have often mistaken judgments for emotions.

Needs List:

CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water

HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence

PLAY
joy
humor

PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

 

 

 


MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

Feelings List:

The following are words we use when we want to express a combinationof emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neitherexhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to supportanyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discoveryand to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.

There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when ourneeds are being met and feelings we may have when our needs are notbeing met.

Feelings when your needs are satisfied


CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water

HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence

PLAY
joy
humor

PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

 

 

 


MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity




Feelings when your needs are not satisfied

AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worried

ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irked

ANGRY
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed

CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
torn

 

 

 


DISCONNECTED

alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indifferent
numb
removed
uninterested
withdrawn

DISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset

EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-conscious

FATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn out

 

 

 

 


PAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful

SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed out

VULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shaky

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful


(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
Phone: +1.505.244.4041 
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Tracy Martin
Posted 9/10/2008 6:31 PM (#10109 - in reply to #10108)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Location: California
We feel so many emotions! but we are often out of touch with what the need is underneath! 
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mruppert
Posted 9/10/2008 11:46 PM (#10123 - in reply to #10108)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Hello Tracester:
     No, you haven't (been out of touch).
      I shall tell you more....

Peace and Paws-in-peace,
Marty and ladies, Lucky, Poppy and SissyGirl
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Paul Joseph
Posted 9/11/2008 4:56 AM (#10128 - in reply to #10123)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Location: United Kingdom
Thanks Tracy. This reminded me a little bit of a couple of posts ages ago from a a Mr Huber, I think it was, though equally, slightly different ?
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Tracy Martin
Posted 9/11/2008 11:47 AM (#10135 - in reply to #10108)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Posts: 486
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Location: California
My Muppet, honestly! I have been very much in touch with emotions all my life, sensing and feeling them from without and within, but the NEEDs that are being met or not met, that is a whole 'nother thing.

Why am I feeling what I am feeling? What do I really need in this moment? What is beneath the feeling this other person is blasting at me? What does this person really NEED? We often react to the feelings we are experiencing in ourselves and others with judgment, rejection, self-protection...and do not see the need. 
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Paul Joseph
Posted 9/11/2008 12:08 PM (#10139 - in reply to #10135)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



PhD Alumni

20002000100100
Location: United Kingdom
Thanx Tracy ... also, there is Don Miguel Ruiz' Four Agreements for another perspective on this, as i am sure you know.
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Tracy Martin
Posted 9/11/2008 12:24 PM (#10142 - in reply to #10108)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Posts: 486
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Location: California
I have read, enjoyed, experienced Don Miguel's Four Agreements. A friend and I in New York facilitated a couple of study groups on his work.

1. Don't take anything personally
2.
3.
4.


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Paul Joseph
Posted 9/11/2008 12:35 PM (#10145 - in reply to #10142)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



PhD Alumni

20002000100100
Location: United Kingdom
Posted the other three way back on this Board .... are you asking me to be repetitive ? Ah ha !!



ok I'll play ! -

Be impeccable with your word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions

Always do your best



Edited by Paul Joseph 9/11/2008 12:41 PM
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Serendipity
Posted 9/11/2008 12:50 PM (#10148 - in reply to #10109)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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Amen to that statement !

I am rather new to this site and still exploring the past posts, but am eager to find out what resonates with me here.

Thanks to everyone for their interesting insights and comments.

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Paul Joseph
Posted 9/11/2008 12:56 PM (#10149 - in reply to #10148)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



PhD Alumni

20002000100100
Location: United Kingdom
Ha ha Serendipity - just noticed your location ! How funny is that - took me a moment or two to work it out - nice one, as we say over here ... glad you are enjoying the posts, as I said on another thread today, there's heaps of old stuff in the basement vaults, beneath the Boards ... depends if you want to trawl through archives or catch the winds of the present moment x !

& likewise, thanks to You for Being

Blessings

Edited by Paul Joseph 9/11/2008 12:57 PM
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Rose
Posted 9/11/2008 7:35 PM (#10175 - in reply to #10108)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg



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What a great post Tracy! Thanks for sharing.

Love, Peace and Light to you!
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paddy
Posted 7/17/2010 7:36 PM (#19653 - in reply to #10108)
Subject: RE: Non-Violent Communication/Marshall Rosenberg


Member

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There's a simple sentence structure that accompanies the non-violent word lists. A basic exercise of nonviolent communication is to stop with whatever is going on and use this sentence using appropriate words for action, feeling, need:
"When you do (...action...) than I feel (...feeling...) because I need (...need...)."

The use of this sentence can slow communication down, as if the brain switches modes of operation to more delta brainwaves. At some point the communication can become a greater degree heart centered by which a more complete understanding can be attained.

Another part of the practice of non-violent communication can involve the use of the giraffe and jackal animal totems.

paddy
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