Posted 8/3/2008 4:43 PM (#8374) Subject: reaction from familiy members about your metaphysical pursuits
My parents are both fundamental christians. They know about my interest in metaphysics, and while they don't argue with me about it, it's torn our relationship up a bit...It just makes it really difficult because this has always been my calling in life, and I know that I can't even bring it up when we are togther, otherwise my father will start an argument....I have no problem accepting what they believe, and I would never ever want to change them, but I can't even get my mother to at least "respect" my belief. For example, I had told her awhile back that I had enrolled in a program for a metaphysical degree, and I was really excited, and her email response back was the following:
"You know that whatever you do we will always love you and pray for you. God, our Creator gave us Freedom to choose. Our education, healing and daily living comes from God's Word through prayer, and has showed us through God's Son Jesus Christ diety and humanity and his death on the Cross, that we all are forgiven of our sins and if we accept his forgiveness, we will have Eternal life through Jesus Christ." --- Love Mom
and while this email wasn't a horrible email, it made me angry because it sounds like she's saying that they will pray for me because of my decision and also that my sin of deciding to pursue this education can alway be forgiven.... Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I know how my parents are when it comes to their hardcore Christian beliefs and their distaste for anything metaphysical. They never use to be this way.... Has anyone else went through this, and why does it bother me so much????
Posted 8/3/2008 7:41 PM (#8378 - in reply to #8374) Subject: RE: reaction from familiy members about your metaphysical pursuits
I empathize completely. And, while I know that my parents don't approve of my 'practices', 'beliefs', etc., it still does not shake my faith. It does bring sorrow to my heart to know that people that I love may not approve. But, really, it wouldn't be the first time that they 'disapprove' of my behavior.
In the beginning, I think they thought it was a 'phase', something that I needed to grow out of. Today, we simply do not discuss it, and we are happier that way. (In fact, I made the conscious decision not to tell them that I am enrolled in the UMS program. I might tell them when I graduate. Or, later down the road. But, now is not a good time. I know it would upset them.) My parents are strict Roman Catholics and everything that I do and represent is shameful to them. Still, they have proven to me that they still love me despite all the disagreements.
If I may be so bold as to offer unsolicited advice, focus on the similarities and love, rather than the disparities. I try to do so anyway.
It appears to me that your parents still love you very much. The praying for your sins/forgive/jesus/salvation dialogue are buzz words so to speak in Christian parlance. For the staunch christian, speaking this way means they have faith and that they feel safer having that faith. It is not so much a reflection of you and your behavior as it is on them and their fear.
It hurts, yes, but, again, remember the love they have for you and the love you have for them. (Love has saved millions of doomed relationships in my opinion.)
Posted 8/6/2008 8:59 AM (#8624 - in reply to #8374) Subject: RE: reaction from familiy members about your metaphysical pursuits
Location: West Texas
hello dusty, i know exactly what you are going through. anyone involved in a "fear religion" has trouble understanding. i deal with this every day. read my thread called , fast facts on false teachings. i live in an area with christian churches on every block. these religions find comfort in their combined fear of God. if anyone finds comfort in his love they disrupt the fear. i have written a blog on this and i will post it soon. what is right is not allways popular and what is popular is not allways right. good luck to you.
Posted 8/6/2008 9:16 AM (#8627 - in reply to #8374) Subject: RE: reaction from familiy members about your metaphysical pursuits
Location: United Kingdom
Sorry Dusty; re-reading your e-mail and the other replies, I see that my reply might seem frivolous, and in poor taste. I am sorry if that was the case, and apologise.
My reply was written when I was in a more playful frame of mind with half an eye towards the joy of the Board's continuation & related games.
However the underlying seriousness of my comment was/is real.
I am perceived by many as having 'way out' beliefs; none of my family share or understand them (and in certain senses are embarrased by them), neither do my church-based employers (hence I have to be quite guarded in terms of public opprobrium). Some other posters on the Board seem to get irritated by my style of wordplay also.
I am 54, so have grown accustomed to being regarded as 'singular'; or 'peculiar', even ...
These are all the reasons why elsewhere i have commended UMS and said that it really resonated with a way that i had been seeking to express/unit/integrate, study, spirituality and healing in a way that I had been seeking for many years.
The path of Spirit is, I feel, a very and intensely lonely one, and often those who seek consolation in mass, organised religion are seeking a burial in another kind of illusion. It is just important to be gentle with ourselves, as it is with others, as we all seek different paths to the Eternal One and All, that is the True Divine.
Blessings and Joy to you and your family as we all come to realize the Divine that is within each of us
Posted 8/6/2008 12:07 PM (#8629 - in reply to #8374) Subject: RE: reaction from familiy members about your metaphysical pursuits
Hello Dusty...thank you for sharing your predicament with us. It seems as though your parents, although not agreeing with the choice you made, still love and respect you, which seems to be everything you can hope for! This could possibly fuel your passion even further to continue to celebrate people's differences with reverence and caring. We all "worry" about our children and the choices they make, no matter how old we are or they are. This ranges from religion to how fast one drives to doing your dinner dishes the morning after versus that night, you know?
Perhaps you are so upset by this because we all seek approval from our parents! When they do not "approve" we feel like bad boys and girls. We crave their acceptance and praise.
Keep on keeping on, Dusty...for in the final analysis, one can only be true to oneself.
Love and Light and Wisdom and Laughter on your Path!
(PS)- all of my siblings except for one mocked, embaressed, mentally abused and shamed me ( or attempted to do so, so we are blissfully estranged now-my choice, because they would still be getting their thrills if I allowed it ), but as I made reference to in another post, I Agreed to accept this family as my own prior to my birth, all for an obvious lesson...to not be stagnant, to not conform, and to celebrate my Self )
Posted 8/6/2008 12:20 PM (#8631 - in reply to #8627) Subject: RE: reaction from familiy members about your metaphysical pursuits
to paul joseph
hey, I really agree with both your replies. It is good to know I am not alone, because it sure feels like it for all of us I guess. I liked your first reply the most, it is just easy and simple. If we accept the worst, we are prepared and usually good things come... like being prepared for the challenges.