Posted 10/26/2007 2:20 PM (#2767) Subject: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Can anyone relate?!?!
Hey…everyone. Thank you for clicking on this thread. I have been going through some “stuff,” so I decided to bring some of “it” to this discussion board to see if anyone else is experiencing the same things or at least can relate.
Please be patient…here it goes:
What I am about to describe has been going on since 2000. At one point, it was accompanied with other significantly debilitating symptoms, but that is another story entirely. Let’s stick to what has remained…
At any given moment, I will feel light-headed and dizzy, my vision will start to blur, my speech becomes slurred, and I become totally disoriented. I break out into cold sweats, and I feel nausea. It comes over me like a wave, literally. My blood pressure drops; my eyes are heavy, and it feels as though I am wearing a lead suit. All I can do is lie down, and close my eyes. Food seems to bring me “out,” but I feel lethargic for the rest of the day. It can interfere with my life and is sometimes debilitating. It is a complete change from what I always was: a person who went non-stop—full time job, working weekends, involvement with charities, exercised every morning, and graduate school at night. At times, I become anxious because I feel as though it might happen while I’m driving or while I am working with students—I tutor part-time as I write my dissertation for UMS, which, by the way, I have neglected for the last two months for many reasons.
I have been told that I am “receiving my gifts,” and that is the reason for my “episodes.” Anyone else go through physical illness when they received? Or do I need an MRI ASAP? (That was written humorously).
To sum it up, I feel alone, like no one understands me—except for my husband, bless his heart—ugly, inappropriate to life, worthless, useless, and disconnected from others. I am angry, appalled at organizations, people and society in general. I think everyone is ignorant, inconsiderate, and futile. I feel like I want to fight all of the injustices in the world.
It has become increasingly difficult for me to be fraudulent, “cordial,” and “civil.” If I have to be “fake,” I avoid the situation entirely. I cannot stand the bullshit any more.
I feel like I do not belong here on this planet, yet I am consumed by it. I do not feel of this world, but I feel as though I am mired in it and attached to it.
I do not FEEL what I KNOW, if that makes any sense to you. I KNOW better, but I do not FEEL what I KNOW to be true.
My beliefs are unraveling. Something similar happened to me while I was in college, but it was, I don’t know, easier in a way. At that time, I renounced my Roman Catholic faith. I was fed up with the lies, the 13 years of catholic school nonsense I endured, and the restrictions “they” and I put upon myself because of the ridiculous, repressive, oppressive man-made rules we were taught to obey. I was “re-born” into metaphysics then, and it was stupendous! But now, what I have adopted is crumbling before me. Again, I am feeling tired of the lies and the instilled fears these lies produce. It feels like Catholicism just wrapped in more attractive paper. I feel like metaphysics teaches some things that are just not true, or just one person’s interpretation, with rules and rituals that mean NOTHING in and of themselves. I KNOW that humans tend to need the symbols, but then teach that! Don’t teach that the symbol IS. Teach what is can represent. Sorry…I am digressing. I just don’t want you to think that I am not aware of certain things. I am. I am just fed up with spiritual gurus, self-hep-ers, and the like pawning off these ridiculous things as a means to save and help others, when in reality, it is just another fear inducing mechanism that controls the masses to find all the answers within one individual, or one doctrine, or one over-priced CD that you can only purchase during the over-priced retreat or seminar or whatever.
I think what’s going on in our field is a disgrace. For example, if I hear one more person talk about the bloody Secret, I am going to scream. Yes, for the love of Pete, thoughts create reality, but this simplified truth has caused more grief than life-changing happiness. Let the whole secret out, if a big stink is going to be made of it! Not just the watered down, money-making ploy that the ignorant masses can’t wait to get their searching, yearning hands on. Now people walk around in FEAR of their thoughts, their feelings, their TRUTH because they believe it’s going to come back and bite them in the ass. It’s ridiculous. I feel like we’re all in grammar school, walking in perfect lines, making sure that we do not step on the side-walk cracks, for doing so will undoubtedly break our mothers’ backs!
Another rule or code to live by: don’t leave your house without protecting yourself in white light, or darkness or negativity will get you, affect you, poison you, or attach to you. Ahh, fiddle sticks! If everything is created by and contains All That Is, than no thing is negative, or dark! Those terms don’t even exist!! There is no such thing as light or dark! In fact, duality itself does not exist, so why teach it? If we are God, from what are we being protected? Evil? It just doesn’t exist. As Alexander Pope writes in his “Essay On Man,” “All discord, harmony not understood; All partial evil, universal good…” Teach what such things as surrounding yourself in white light can represent.
Metaphysics just doesn’t tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and so help me God, that’s what pisses me off.
Speaking of which, do you guys still pray? If so, to whom do you pray? If you and I and all are God, who is receiving these prayers? I don’t know to whom to pray any more. Why do we have to? What do we say? If the power lies within each of us, then why are we still pleading for help, guidance, and healing and asking for favors and parking spots?
All the things that used to make sense to me, do not any longer. I cannot stop reading and learning. I no longer sheepishly assume the role of follower. I consume a couple of books a month. I wake up in the middle of the night to do more, learn more, write more, read more…I can’t seem to get enough.
I feel overqualified for some things, and I feel incompetent to do other things.
Well, folks, that’s all, in a nut shell. I couldn’t possibly write all that I feel, for that would take days. But I hope someone out there can understand what I am feeling from my ramblings.
I don’t really know why I am putting here for all to see and perhaps judge, but I felt compelled to do so. Let me know if you are going through this “crisis of faith” as I am. I just don’t know what to think, feel, believe any more, which is part of the reason why I’ve put my dissertation on hold for a bit. I cannot possibly write about something that I’m not even sure is real and valid.
And please, without the intention to offend, let me say, that I would appreciate it if you could refrain from ten-cent, novelty, metaphysics 101 advice, like “repeat Louise Hay’s affirmations in the mirror, and you’ll feel great!”
You most certainly can address one or all of the 4 bodies mentioned, but any candid input is greatly appreciated.
Posted 10/26/2007 4:16 PM (#2768 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Kaduna Nigeria
My heart-felt sympathy, only that your case seems nothing compared to others whose feelings and experiences are worse but they refuse to be bugged down by anything on the path of their search or their life.
Posted 10/26/2007 5:19 PM (#2769 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: California, USA
(((LiteNup))) - I just PM'ed you.
Posted 10/26/2007 6:24 PM (#2770 - in reply to #2768) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Danjummai, why would you respond? The title of my thread is, “Can you Relate?” It is obvious that you do not relate to my crisis of faith.
Your "sympathy" is clearly not "heart-felt" at all. It is loaded with judgment and insult, comparing me with “cases” that are much worse off than I am but seem to keep their search and life going. Good for them! Send me their names so that I can engrave them on this monument I am building to commemorate their valiant efforts. Or perhaps they would appreciate a fresh batch of cookies instead?
No doubt others have had to endure a much "worse fate" than I, but I am not talking about them. Constantly comparing ourselves with others just denies and represses our true feelings. "Oh, it can't be that bad. You're not starving or homeless!"
You know nothing about my life. I've spared you the details. It was difficult for me to be so open.
This thread is meant for those who can relate. If you cannot, please refrain from commenting. This thread has nothing to do with you. Move on.
And thank you for PMing me, Soulfire, even though I haven’t the faintest idea what it means!
Posted 10/26/2007 7:44 PM (#2771 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Wow! Yes, I feel I can relate in a way. I haven't been able to put my feelings into words like yours. I feel I am much like you in the way that I too am on a mission to learn, I eat it up, all that I can. And when I am not reading I am talking about it, throwing out my ideas to see how they reflect back to me and hearing other perspectives that I may not have considered. But sometimes I think, what is all of this? Is this just what we humans do? We have this innate "need" to feel like there is a "master plan" a template that explains it all? A need to know that our life will never end, that it all means something? It seems that I will at times ponder a thought, a revelation that I feel I am having and when I follow, follow, follow, then it all seems to disappear, to turn to NOTHING! And that is quite scary. Why? Is that all it is? Why is that so scary to me? Why does it depress me? I never stay there long however, I just move on to more reading, talking, learning. Whatever it is I am on the brink of has not really sunk in yet, it is intangible to me. And maybe that is it. I just haven't decided that yet :-) I hear what you are saying about dogma, and agree completely. It seems we are all just wanting to be "saved", we all just want a way to explain things. But just when we think we have it figured out it slips through our fingers or there is some contradiction that doesn't fit into that story. So we mix it all up and make our own dogma to follow. I don't know, not sure if any of this is making sense or if this is what you meant but here it is anyway.
In regards to the physical feelings you are having, it sounds like you are a very hard worker! Does matter have limits? Or is energy manifested as matter inifinite? My husband is a chiropractor and that philosophy says that we as humans, matter, a body has a limited amount of energy to use to do the things it needs to do to live as well as the things we ask of it like work. When we over extend, ask more of it than it has the ability to give it starts to break down. The ways a body can break down are many and any. In that philosophy it is a matter of balance. You put good life giving things in, nutritionally, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, etc, and you become aware of your body and listen to when it says you have asked too much. The body has a way of trying to keep up with you for a time, it has ways of faking it, so to speak, to get you through those times when extra is needed but that can only go on for so long before it gets worn out and tired and then it is unable to keep everything functioning properly.
Anyway, not sure if that is helpful. And I am sure that there is much more to what you are experiencing. It is more complex I am sure. Just felt inspired to pass on what I know and feel.
Many blessings to you,
P.S. I do pray, and when I pray I pray to myself, my God within as well as the God's in others. I feel that a prayer is a confirmation, affirmation, of what I am trying to become as well as an acknowledgement of gratitude for the life that I AM.
Posted 10/27/2007 2:03 AM (#2772 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Maximum Overdrive
Hi Lite: You'll get no inspirational message from me; just my experience based on fact...fact which derives from many, many years of study. Thanks for saying many of the things that I have felt over the years. And, you put it in a way that I most comfortably related to, as I share some common ground with you. Repeating myself from other posts, I am Roman Catholic and a Rosicrucian. But, I am Roman Catholic in spirit, and in awe of the splendor of the "church"...which is the place where we come together to celebrate life and feel the everlasting presence of a higher power. ALL the other stuff, the hierarchy, rules, regulations, the infallibility of the Pope, etc; is utter nonsense! Historically proven, the early Catholics came together moreso for the sense of community of spirit, rather than to worship in an orderly fashion, and to follow silly rules and fear sancture if one transgresses. As a Rosicrucian, I delve into more arcane avenues of spirituality. We believe in a "cosmic consciousness" and have many mystical beliefs. Isn't that the "higher power" of the Catholics? But, all our beliefs are based on ancient teachings. Are they true? In all honesty, I must say yes, but purely from a very practical viewpoint. Here I could write volumes as to why, but I don't want to make this too long.PM me if you want to discuss RC's or Rosy's longer. Suffice it to say, that we (as Rosicrucians) have learned that life is one big long study of life...and that it goes on. How long? The answer is simple....eternity, as we believe that we live forever. No, not in the body that you and I are in at this movement of time. But, to get away from the philosophical aspects of this and to the more immediate.....I and a group of my associates have hundreds of cd's, tapes, books, and pamphlets,that promise pie-in-the-sky things, all somehow metaphysical in nature, spiritual in value, transformational in character, and miraculous in approach. We have "religiously" followed said programs, and have had, unilaterally, zero results on a statistical level. However, what we have found is that there is a certain, small percentage, of people who are, indeed, able to do what they claim. We have found this to be true with regard to healing methodology. We have found this to be true with regard to the practice of astrology and divination. Although "we" can never be them, what we can do is understand the derivation of their "talent" and seek to speak intimately (prayer?)with the cosmic force that granted that chosen few such gifts. We then might also ask if there is a way (a path) that we might follow to further the causes of healing, etc. Perhaps, we shall experience a miracle, as the RC's are so fond of. The world is composed of charlatans, in ALL walks of life. And, metaphysics is not immune. BUT, you must not let this dissuade or turn yourself away from the path you have chosen, which is the path of enlightenment. Maybe, here, on this website, is a turning point; as you are here for a reason. Reason known or unknown! This is getting longer than I thought, so to mention one other thing, quickly and briefly, (at least for me to be brief): Physical-I have never been ill or suffered a major problem a day in my life, and though I was not conscious earlier on concerning healthy things to do, I am a darn bit more aware, as that comes with age, maybe wisdom. But, I still do a lot of things that I really shouldn't. And, I will continue to do them...except that now I am aware of the aftermath and can accept it as the choice that I made. If you feel "ill" (and you will KNOW in your heart and mind that you do) then see a doctor, just to rule out anything which may or may not be serious. But if you are suffering from manifestations of a stressful existence, or stressful events, then see a qualified spiritual advisor of any kindred spirit, OR, just see a good friend....one whom you can laugh, cry and pour your heart out to without fear....believe me, that therapy is the best in the world. You'll feel better, and your friend will feel better...because that's what friends are for! I really enjoyed reading your posts, and I hope that you will post again! Peace Profound, Marty
Posted 10/27/2007 12:06 PM (#2775 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Kaduna Nigeria
LiteNup, believe it or not, am awfully sorry that you should think that my sincere submission (or input) to your "Crisis of Faith" is that bad. Didn’t mean any harm. Just tried to relate. That's all. Judgment and insult is not our character. They are a part of these things we must borrow to express ourselves. You know the books have shown that we, all creation, were not initially there but that the word, god, the source or whatever was. He-she-they-it (God) made everything right? If this be the case, then why should we take the brunt of what has no relation with us? Why should we feel anything, insult or not? What you did not realize when I said there are worse cases in this sort of crisis of faith is the fact that I was only relating my little experience. I was thinking that you were more courageous than those of us whose loneliness has chocked into sulking in silence. I was praising you for reaching out for the right or wrong minded people to relate with, but as you've rightly hinted for me to move on because you feel my feeling towards you was insincere, this I will though not before pleading with you to forgive, if you can, my interruption. I wont mind if you do forgive or not. It was not intentional. If I will insult and judge any I will begin with myself for being brought into this ‘vale of tears’, or as the muslims will say: ‘prison of the faithful,’ without consent, as some were made to believe. I don't blame those who believe the contrary - it is one of those things in our unique roles as human beings. I have no proof to back any assertion up. Besides, I've stopped wasting valuable time searching outward, in leaflets and books, for something that's said to be engraved on everyone's mind.
May We Find Ourselves!
Posted 10/29/2007 8:59 PM (#2794 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Wow! Such inspiring, thought-provoking responses! I offer many thanks to each of you for offering your insight, and I may have to PM—now that I know what it means—some of you to learn more without taking up the time of others.
And to you, Danjammai, I offer you an apology for my harshness. One of the other things I am becoming aware of is my change in attitude. You see, I have spent my entire life “turning the other cheek,” never to defend myself, or negate the words of others, always understanding, always allowing, etc. because I believed that this was the proper behavior of a “good Catholic girl.” But I started to think to myself: “Wait a minute…who says that being a good person means being a push over who allows others to take advantage?!” In the last year, I have noticed that I have begun to, let’s say, speak up for myself. I cannot repress my true feelings any longer, letting them seethe behind a fake smile. Since I am not quite familiar with expressing my true feelings, it doesn’t always come out in the kindest or most mature of ways. I am still trying to find a balance between being truthful and not unloading my anger onto others, so it is I who asks for your forgiveness.
SO, OUT OF ALL THE PSYCHICALLY GIFTED FOLKS OUT THERE, NO ONE HAS EVER EXPERIENCED MY PHYSICAL "STUFF” WHEN THEY WERE RECEIVING THEIR GIFTS???
To all my psychic classmates, I would truly appreciate your story here.
I would LOVE to believe that this merely represents my “gifts”—whatever they may be—coming to fruition, but I don’t want to be irresponsible for my well-being either.
Thank you so very much for your time, patience, and wisdom.
Posted 10/30/2007 3:02 PM (#2796 - in reply to #2794) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
I guess that in your original post you did not mention that these physical episodes occur with any sort of pattern. It sounds like, from what you have posted, that you are "hoping" that this is a part of your psychic ability. Does it only happen when something is psychically happening for you? Is there any sort of regularity or pattern to these episodes? For me that would shed a different sort of light on the events. I was assuming that these episodes were more sporadic but that you were hoping that instead of it being some sort of physical ailment or condition that you wondered if it had something to with the metaphysical world. Are there things happening that would lead you to that conclusion? I can't say that I have ever had an experience like yours but I would not be surprised if there were people that had. Possibilities are unlimited and every person is an individual. Sorry I have nothing to offer you in the way of explaining this psychically, only biologically. I am not a huge supporter of allopathic medicine, however they have worked out some very fantastic forms of diagnosis and I think that is their strong point, besides emergent traumatic care. The care of chronic illness I think is better formed by more holistic approaches of which there are multitudes. Maybe you have already investigated these avenues and still are unable to find any clues. I don't know, again just offering what I have. I do sincerely hope that you are on the path finding the answers you are seeking. Where I live there is a large community of alternative lifestyles. Many people are seeking spiritual enlightenment, many people utilize alternative heathcare, many people utilize the food co-op and support sustainable agriculture, etc., etc., and there are many people who have moved here because they have developed sensitivities to many things in the environment and they want to reduce their stress and live in a healthier, slower paced community. Working with my husband, a chiropractor, for many years, I have met many people with a myriad of "symptoms" that no one has been able to point a finger at and say "this" is what you are experiencing and "this" is how you cure it. It is mostly about the people themselves taking the time to become more aware of themselves on all levels and nurturing themselves on all those levels. They have had to find their spot of homeostasis. The place, psychically, spiritually, nutritionally, environmentally, etc., etc., that they can function in a healthy way with themselves and the world around them.
Posted 10/31/2007 8:31 AM (#2804 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Somerset England
It sounds to me as if you are in the process of clearing away all the dross from your mind and life to find the REAL you. I have found my own way by sorting a lot of this for myself to find what is right for me. When your anger boils over as it did in your response to Danjummai who inadvertently pressed your buttons for you, it is good to look within for the real cause. He did you a favour by helping you along your pathway and thankfully he is evolved enough to take what you gave him in return. A lesser person probably would have been deeply hurt by for force of your words. I find that when I have been this angry in the past I started writing or typing whatever came into my head and before long I had the original reason for my exceptionally strong feelings. I filled books and books with my rantings but it did the job for me, I decided not to re-read any of it as the idea was to release repressed anger and not re live it so I burnt the books. I still do this if I need to but this is not very often. This practice enabled me to discover what was really going on within me and find the Real me. You are in the process of finding your own answers not anyone else’s and are clearly delving very deeply and questioning everything, which is great.
The phrase I have in my mind is ‘be true to yourself’ do what feels right to you and not what ‘society’ might expect. This can be a very tough and courageous thing to do but you will reap great rewards. There is a reason for all of this, to enable you to grow. You will look back in the future and be able to see just how far you have come.
The physical symptoms that you describe seem to be a way that your higher self (or whatever label you may use) is demanding your attention and alerting you that you are not in balance, so that you will start questionning everything.
Love & Light
Posted 11/1/2007 11:40 AM (#2810 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Thank you Elizabeth Ann. You are confirming a "hunch" I've been feeling for the last two days. I still haven't quite accepted or trusted myself, so your confrimation was necessary at this stage of my growth. Thank you.
You're right; I am not being true to myself, and I am in a contant battle with myself. But how does one find balance, honor and nurture the self and still finction in this society? For instance, today all I want to do is cry, write, release, and when I feel I am through, go outside and rest. But I have to go to the market, call a book-load of dentists to try and find one in my insurance plan--dealing with insurance companies provides enough fuel for me to light an entire continent a blaze--do laundry, tutor students, make dinner, oh wait, and feed, bathe, and groom myself too. I know this seems trivial, but at times, the most trivial of things can overwhelm me, which is so bizzare for me! I just feel unable to function properly. I feel out-of-sorts, a misfit, a square peg.
I haven't a clue as to what I want to do professionally. I am interested in many things, but do not feel particualrly drawn to one over another. They all seem to be so very differnet in nature too, so where and how do I find balance between my many splintered parts? What does "go within" really mean? I gave meditating going on three months now because I wasn't experiencing anything during the sessions. I've tried with music, without, guided CDs, dead silence...nothing.
And how in the world am I supposed to facilitate the healing of others when I can barely understand and heal myself? I feel like a fraud.
Posted 11/1/2007 6:03 PM (#2811 - in reply to #2810) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Somerset England
Hi, you need to stop thinking about everything that has to be done and focus on a bit at a time. It is when we think about everything all at once that it overwhelms and screws us up. I think that meditiation helps us to forget the everyday stuff and clear the mind to enable our own intuition and inspiration to get through. If you acheive a sense of peace when meditating you are actively helping yourself, keep at it as it will help greatly.
Might be an idea to write down what needs to be done and then prioritise, what is most urgent? what can you just forget about? I find that doing what I dread most straight away works very well for me or even pick off the quick easy things will also give a sense of acheivement. Or if you wait for the right time it is amazing how swiftly you can get through things.
On the professional side I would just take it a day at a time and see what oportunities turn up, no need to waste energy chaseing anything because when the time is right it will show up.
Hope that helps
Posted 11/3/2007 8:34 PM (#2832 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Welcome to the spiritual path! We fall apart in order to remake ourselves and it is very good although trying.
with compassion and support for your transformation
Posted 11/5/2007 11:18 PM (#2834 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Yes, I can relate. been there and done that, its not pleasant but I'm glad for the experience. You are going through depression. Get some help, whether from a doctor or a naturopath or somebody who can help boost your body back to health so that the mind and spirit can begin to heal. There is light at the end of the tunnel, keep your eye on it. :-) You need to heal the body first, then you will be able to concentrate on your mental and emotional level. Only then will you be able to work out what you believe or not, what your truth is.
Posted 11/8/2007 11:56 PM (#2854 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Maximum Overdrive
HiLite: All I can say is that try to find joy in all the things that seem to be a burden at the moment. All can change in the blink of an eye. Now that I have an abundance of peace and quiet, and solitude, I find that I would gladly trade it back for the turmoil of times past. Grey of hair, what little there is, and long of tooth, I speak with hindsight, but that just might be a component of wisdom. When everything seems to be closing in around you, practice the philosophy of "woh ah shur", the best I can do in English translation of sounds....I can't type Chinese characters as I do not have the font....it is a philosophy that one young man practiced in Tiannamen Square, as he stood before the tanks of the advancing Chinese Army, and brought them to a halt. The massive force sent to quell the call for democracy stopped dead in their tracks! It means "do nothing, and there is nothing you cannot do".
Peace, Marty, and do as little as possible cats
Posted 3/15/2008 6:29 AM (#3825 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
hi,just read your true and honest from the heart words,it takes courage to speak your mind,without fear of rebuke.If many more on this site were truly honest,they would be having the same thoughts as you,but too many books,tapes,peoples long drawn out words,confuse,and make some beleive they are at higher points in life,to wat they truly are.You do not need expensive tapes,books,etc,to discover what is simple,and in everyones phyce anyway,For some the journey of life is hard,for others,easy,i say theones who suffer the most,are the truly enlightened ones,they are being taught personallessons,for free,about spirit,its like a jigsaw puzle,if you look back to all the hard times,u relize why so and so happened at that time,and so on.I may not be making sense,and don,t have the big words others have,which are meaningles to me anyway.a book,a tape,and all the rest of the paraphenalia,does not makea soul different,special,we learn by our own individual experiences. I fel deeply for you,i think you are also maybe suferring a kind of nervous exhaustion,rest and qiuet,and a good diet is what is needed,leave the books,tapes,studying,for a while,your head ,thoughts,need to be rested,your body needs to be rested,i send my thoughts to you,and hope you have peace of mind,and wellbeing soon,i think you are a special person,warmest regards
Posted 3/15/2008 11:51 AM (#3828 - in reply to #2767) Subject: I Asked And I Was Given
Location: United Kingdom
I ASKED AND I WAS GIVEN I asked God for strength, that I might achieve; I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey; I asked for health, that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity, that I might grow in understanding And become a better human being through bringing forth from within The Divine qualities of kindness and compassion with all life.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy; I was given poverty, that I might become wise; I asked for power, that I might be praised by people; I was given weakness, that I might feel my need for God; I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things; I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I really needed. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. And my life is now filled with blessings.
Anon. Edited by Aquarius
Stella Polaris Feb/March 2008 White Eagle: ‘… as we speak [at Easter] of resurrection, we see the spirit world ablaze with the flowers of spring, the bursting trees, the running brooks; we hear the orchestra of the little winged creatures. Spring is here! Crucifixion is over and the Resurrection has come. ‘This is what we would impress upon you all - that after periods of pain and suffering, which you must accept resolutely, look forward to the new life, to the Re-birth which will come in your heart. All such mystical truths are demonstrated for you in some form or another, either on the Earth, or when you arrive in the Spirit world.’
Posted 3/18/2008 2:16 AM (#3852 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
With regards to the "Secret" I was contemplating this one evening when the thought came in "greed" and when you look at it its realy a subversion of metaphysics towards purely selfish goals, acquiring more money, the partner that you want, that car, that holiday etc. It seems you have a strong desire to find truth, and that you are starting to find a lot of deception going on in the world. I found some usefully clues in my dreams about how I was lying to myself. I then started to realise that many people where living a lie. A one stop supermarket for the truth does not exist, there are no gurus or 'masters' here to guide us or teach us the complete truth physical or metaphysical. The best we can do is work on the jiggsaw puzzle of truth. You fill in the bits that you know are true and you pull out the bits that don't fit together and are not true. Meeting other people with personal experience of metaphysical phenomena is a great start to finding the truth. Being aware of your own thoughts/feelings/dreams is also essential and you are already doing this. Being able to think for oneself rather than regurgitation is something I consider a gift so that may be one of yours. On the subject of weather evil exists? Is the world just one big molecular / scientific / atheisitic / materialistic chemical reaction on going? Or can you also feel the feeling of good, the feeling of bad - feelings exist dont they so good and evil can be descriptions of a type of feeling. If good and evil exist then does karma exist? As you sow, so shall you reap?
About prayers and God, judge for yourself have you ever had a prayer answered? To claim that everybody is god is just ridiculus. We are not perfected people. About affirmations they are a good way to modify negative belief systems each one is like putting a twig on a fire with enough mental will power you can build a bonfire.
If you are disenchanted with the state of the world then what is your concept of the ideal society and how we should we be living? What is the collective mission of humanity? What is your mission on earth?
Posted 3/19/2008 1:33 AM (#3868 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: Maximum Overdrive
Oh what agony........I listened through a cutsey blond lady, Rhonda somebody and "The Secret". She told me about the "Law of Attraction" and she was very right on one point, but not the point she wanted to convey!!!! Peace, Love, Marty 'n Poppy, Lucky, Sissy
Posted 3/21/2008 9:50 PM (#3949 - in reply to #2768) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
Location: No I'm not impersonating a cat! I'm a laughing Owl
Well I didn't have time to go through your whole post but you said, " think everyone is ignorant, inconsiderate, and futile. I feel like I want to fight all of the injustices in the world."
You also put down people around you. Do you really feel that EVERYONE is inconsiderate? I would caution you to be careful that you're not projecting onto others that which you are yourself. Be very careful as to not exhalt yourself as all knowing. Narcissism is a very dangerous position and some term it a disease. Some people have it as serious personality disorders and others simply mimic it but it's not a serious personality disorder.
I am a flawed humanbeing, and I see many flaws in others and I can say that, "Hey it's okay. The important thing is to try and work through it, try to become better. I believe I can embrace that sort of compassion toward's others because I have walked a mile in many of their shoes.
Posted 3/22/2008 12:54 AM (#3959 - in reply to #2767) Subject: RE: Can Anyone Relate? Crisis of Faith...
This is a test, this is only a test. If you feel lost and overwelmed & feel light jumping off a cliff. Your doing fine. Your rational mind wants to Live. Do you think it will hand over the controls when its done such a great job for you. Sure it's gonna tell you this is a bunch of fibs & draw the con artist with the program to enlightment and leave you after raping your bank account. So if you want get back on track, turn off the media & start being in the world around ya. Instead of watching the tv and being programmed...go find some people that are having fun. Know that your mind is scared & humour it. Break that mind out of it's set patterns. You hate to get wet in the rain? No, your mind is conditioned to release bad feelings when the rain soaks you. Freak it out by putting on your finest clothes and go proform "Singing in the Rain" Getting the brain to cool it. So you need to quite the mind & enjoy the ride. Well thats a little of my thoughts from the 3001 books that I have read. But cyber space has sent me so much that I'm keeping my eye out for the guys in black suits...hey aint them bugs big in florida? later,aceraven