Posted 1/25/2007 3:02 PM (#1439) Subject: My son the little Ghandi
Just wondering what you all think of this. My son is 5 and has some 'best friends' in school. The best friends are kind of rough though and are always hitting him or bonking in to him. They don't do it maliciously but nevertheless they do it. My son does not like it but doesn't do anything about it. The other day I was picking him up and one of his 'friends' slapped him across the face right in front of me! I was astounded but all my son did was stand there with a look in his eye as if to say, "that didn't hurt me, is that all you got?, or just Why?" He didn't hit back, he didn't cry, just stood there. I told him that it is his choice how he wants to react and who he wants as friends and if he wants to tolerate that or not. I told him if I see it though, I'm going to be upset. I sincerely can't think of any better way for him to handle it. He's either an Indigo or a Crystal, he seems to have traits of both. He's very empathetic and kind. Now he's my little Ghandi. Any thoughts? I'm not sure exactly how to attack this one. I think I'm doing the right thing but am open to suggestions.
Posted 1/25/2007 5:49 PM (#1441 - in reply to #1439) Subject: RE: My son the little Ghandi
I can't imagine handling this better than you did - what else could you have said? You are blessed, your son has some evolution he must have come into this lifetime with, and then there's the input you've had these 5 years. This experience ought give you some insight into what kind of input he needs, what he might respond to, what directions and choices he will be making that you can facilitate.
People hurting my son, I can't remember anything that upset me as much. And he ws not a little Ghandhi. Now he's almost 22, although he certainly doesn't scrap anymore, I still feel a fierce sense of protectiveness whenever someone has hurt him somehow. It tests your inner strength, and you reveal yours here in this post. I think you are in for a wonderous ride as a parent...
Posted 2/14/2007 1:24 AM (#1519 - in reply to #1439) Subject: RE: My son the little Ghandi
Location: Arcata, CA
I would say you probably have to teach him some basics about personal boundaries and how to enforce those in a loving way. Of course, like you said, talking to him about his choice of friends was definitely in order. Sounds like he has to learn how to enforce personal boundaries and have enough self worth to have some back bone and stand up for himself. Actually, he probably is just so surprised and confused about that sort of action that he just blanks out and doesn't handle it at all, like the 9 in the Enneagram (search for it on the internet or request your UMS course on the Enneagram from staff if you don't have it yet and you are a student of UMS).